If you like this post – please share it! If you suffer from depression and you need someone to understand you write to me – email@example.com
Sunday, November 6, 2016
THE JOYS OF WOMANHOOD
Understanding the rising divorce rate in Pakistan
Today the divorce rate in Pakistan is rising and the number of divorcee women is rising! Every one find their convenient reason to blame and absolve themselves of being the root cause but the inevitable truth often ignored is that it takes two hands to clap.
Being a female that has survived childhood and continues to live in Pakistan as an adult is something that is quite an achievement from my perspective. From the minute you are born it is instilled into your brain by your relatives that your sole purpose in life is to say yes to anything the family elders tell you and then to prepare yourself to say yes to marriage to a man who will dominate you for the rest of your life.
Right from the start of being a girl child one realizes that life can become quite unfair. It does not matter whether you live in a village and walk to your fields or you live in the big cities and have a chauffeur driven vehicle that takes you to the office because irrespective of what your social status is society and your family will always have an inconvenient reality check there to suppress you somehow!
Females have always been at the receiving end of criticism somehow and from someone from the minute they are born and society wants to inconveniently liberate them. Irrespective of the generation Pakistan’s younger females have an immense amount of enemies hidden in their friends that are a catalyst to them having more problems even before they enter into the saas bahu relationship stage of their lives.
The way I see it most Pakistani women are trophies to men who parade them in society trying to depict a lifestyle publicly that simply does not exist. Women might not admit it but they are constantly under societies critical eye waiting for them to mess up. It’s exactly like having a pedigreed show dog with papers on a very tight leash.
In the past fifteen years more women have divorced their spouses and decided to live on their own and the reason for that is very simple. “The men they were involved with were simply not good enough for them when they got married helplessly!” People think that a woman is being emotional or erratic when she decides to divorce a man but little do they ever try to listen to her with an open emotional mind. Divorce be it in in any setting personal or professional only happens when a woman has had enough and simply refuses to compromise on the core values she stands for herself.
If one asks any man who is divorced what exactly happened – seldom will you get a befitting answer that is close to the truth. Most men will often give shoddy reasons for the split which one can expect to be that the spouse was cheating and or anything except for the reality of the here and the now.
Men find women to be extremely complicated creatures and feel comfortable that in a country like Pakistan a woman’s identity is linked to the man she is hitched to. Therefore, I feel that most husbands take their wives for granted quite a lot thinking that they would crumble if the relationship were to end.
If you look at another paradigm I think that women are quite simple creatures because they base their entire existence on two principles which are honesty and respect. With any one element missing in the picture any relationship in life cannot exist. Further to that I feel that women are more resilient to handling pain and have the ability to inwardly digest and ignore social stigmas and agony that is created all around them because they have been raised to be perfect.
Today women are armed and in the work force and women know their rights which is an awesome and amazing thing. If one looks at society today one will notice the balance of power has shifted because women have the unique ability to be a stabilizing force for the people in their lives and their partners.
Another thing that Pakistani society has come to realize is that with education being the driving force now men actually have to work hard to keep up with their spouses because most families now need a dual income to survive. So with the wife also being the bread earner no longer does it make business sense to try to bully the other source of income into a situation that will be stressful for all!
As time goes on and more and more western influence seems to infiltrate our lives the only thing left for men to do would be to start listening to their spouses with the intent to understand where they come from and just be honest to themselves with a reality that they would not do as well as they are if their spouses left them. Today no longer does a woman have to be good enough and come with a massive dowry to be accepted by her in laws. Men need to be very different cowboys worthy enough to be suitors for any woman.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
& FINDING NIRVANA
Here is some advice on how you can find internal happiness & overcome depression!
I have lived with depression for many years and was treated by the worst and the best of them in many countries and eventually I got over it so here’s how I overcame it! In this blog I would like to tell you what depression is and how to overcome it!
Today’s humans are just bodies that wake up every day and then eventually fall asleep to wake up another day until the time has come to answer to a higher calling. Almost all of us are trapped in a world where we just exist terrified of the inevitable death that will befall us at one time or another. If you look around you or even within you a harsh epiphany will happen and you will notice that a lot of people are unhappy for some reason or the other maybe even yourself?
Every decade is known for something or another and this decade is known for bringing out a lot of depression related issues out into the open which were a taboo to discuss in public to avoid being stigmatized. Today depression is a more comfortable issue to discuss and running wild and whilst your go to therapist gets rich or your psychiatrist dopes you up with every chemical he gets a kick back for prescribing there are many other solutions to overcoming depression.
Other than chemical solutions people have turned to religion and whatnot to try to cure this phenomenon classified as a disease (which I believe it is not) but rather a state of mind. Depression when it hits you can manifest its self in many forms or ways unknown to the person it affects. The first responders or the first people to get affected or notice this is in the persona behavior change. People affected by depression can take on many behavior traits that often might get your relatives to think you need a shrink and the shrink going on what everyone else will tell them will juice or dope you up accordingly.
On a completely different plateau people suffering from depression also resort to alcohol and drug abuse to try to get away from the situation and eventually fall victim to addictions and other issues to add to the main problem. So in short depression I believe that depression cannot be categorized as there are many variances of it and how it will evolve in a person and neither can it be cured by taking a pill or speaking to a therapist alone.
What qualifies me to make such statements are a few facts about me that I chose to accept! I was born in Pakistan and I suffered the wrath of society's ability to judge a human being before it accepted it into the social wolf pack. I had problems with the world and myself and I spent the better half of my youth being taken from doctor to soothsayer to be cured. Eventually in 2012 I ended my depression and broke free from all the chains around me as I discovered that only I could liberate myself from these invisible chains.
First, you need to understand that depression is something that affects every human being today. The reason is that time is of the essence and whilst we try to do the most in the minimum amount of time what humors social media today is someone else being ridiculed more than our selves. The world is a brutal child’s playground where one finds more enemies hidden within their friends and then a whole lot of people in their homes who listen with the intent to rebuttal rather than understand. So most people feel extremely lonely and to be honest in this civilization that is a forest of people swaying where the social tide goes nobody really has time to understand other people’s issues yet get really upset when they don’t get the attention they want,
Some of us have auto response mechanisms within our minds to deal with it. Those that don’t allow this state of mind to overtake their true personas and portray its self in way unimaginable to the human mind or conscience. To defeat depression, you need to know that the only person who can do it is “yourself”.
When you are looking to defeat “depression” basically what you are looking for is freedom from the person you are and have a need to evolve into a better human being. To do that you need to change your lifestyle completely and you need to surround yourself with positivity.
Toxic relationships are also a root cause for depression because we rely on societies approval to simply fit in. I know so many people out there who go to work and do fancy jobs yet are the most miserable people inside. Sometimes you need to distance yourself in a healthy way that is not offensive from maybe a parent or a sibling or a spouse to get that emotional freedom you need. As it takes two hands to clap one needs to be honest with themselves and get a firm grip on the reality of why they are depressed. Since you are self-evaluating yourself you also need to discover what makes you happy!
Overcoming depression is not an easy task because one of the main ingredients you need to change in life is who you truly love? You need to be completely selfish when it comes to “love” as the most honest relationship you will ever have in your existence will be with yourself. Loving yourself means ensuring you are comfortable with the person you are or want to be and that is emotionally and internally. Once you have decided that only then should you focus on your exterior.
Your exterior development or re-designing will depict how secure you are as a human being. You might want to change the job you do and rather than going to work to pay the bills and then coming home to hit the bottle you might just want to change what you do by making a structured plan on how to do something you would love to do every day! Curing depression also about how you spend your time so one of the skills you need to develop is self-time management.
A huge part of curing depression or overcoming it is to train your most powerful weapon against it which is your mind. You need to train your mind to ignore and block out anything that affects you as a human being. So basically, think with your brains and not your hearts when it comes to this and define boundaries in all your relationships. This is easy to do at work and everywhere else but almost next to impossible to do with your family. Your family has their own set personalities and whilst you know they will not accept any form of criticism and expect you to change you need to change this balance of emotional control in a way that will leave you happy.
Most depression related problems occur when person is in their adolescence. Family structures, especially from countries like China, India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka that are used to be extremely close knitted have a hierarchy system that they believe is right and extremely narrow minded when it comes to change. Eventually the young, frustrated for not being understood as an individual might act out and then automatically written off permanently as a problem child!
When a parent takes a child to be cured for depression or any psychological problems little do they realize that they too need to bring about a change within them. If a flower does not bloom in a certain environment, then one needs to change the environment and not the flower. So, if you have a child who might be suffering from God knows what your medical practitioner tells you just sit down and think everything out about the environment your child lives in before you decide to label the child.
Only you can cure depression and only you can decide how to take control of your life. To me anyone who is in depression is allowing it to happen. There is no fixed cure to handle depression because there are so many different types of it. Maybe changing your environment might help you and maybe. Depression is not hard to cure if you can discipline your life. Also, self-help books never helped me only common sense did. I found a purpose for myself, I set some big goals and then many small ones to help me attain that big goal (I still have not attained it yet) and then life suddenly became worth living!
Material possessions do not help you overcoming depression. They only distract you away for a brief momentary lapse of reason and shift your focus from the core issues. I spent years trying to buy my emotional freedom only to realize that it left me lonelier than ever and feeling empty inside. When I started working on myself and making sure that everything I did was centered around my emotional and personal happiness my journey to recovery started.
If you choose to liberate yourself from depression, then please understand that it will be extremely difficult and you need to stay strong to yourself as you are to your religion. Once you fall in love with yourself and want to better yourself you need to know that there will be hurdles, obstacles and hiccups from within your own family and friends but you should never compromise your happiness and the commitment you have made to being a happier person by reverting to your old “normal” self the way people liked you to be or wanted you to be.
Depression is easily cured by living in a self-structured positive environment, believing in self-motivation and having ambition as well as having a purpose in life and then surrounding yourself with people who can emotionally appreciate your life with positivity. The hardest thing in overcoming depression is to emotionally disconnect with those who will constantly trigger your negativity. Only you can be the change that you want to be so why not try. If you are suffering from depression, please know that you are in control and only you can make it stop. Unless you have a child suffering from depression then you need to know that you are also in control and you need to be the change you want to see in your child!
If you like this post – please share it! If you suffer from depression and you need someone to understand you write to me – firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, October 31, 2016
Who created this monster for PMLN?
Before you read on please note that I did NOT belong to any political party or support any politician and these are my thoughts and observations as a Pakistani citizen who is watching all the drama unfold on the local Pakistani news channels. With all this hype there is an undecided silent majority that questions what is all the drama and fuss around Imran Khan & What is his real agenda? Thanks to the media I too decided to support Imran Khan from now on!
Pakistan is a nation that follows trends and not one that likes to create trends. As of late Imran Khan has been in the foreground getting a whole lot of media time and attention because he is screaming that he will get answers for the people of Pakistan from those who robbed the country! As a citizen one needs to understand the situation in its entirety before basing a judgement so let’s get a few things straight and get some answers here.
Most politicians have had their careers handed down through dynastic rule! Most political parties have a strong buildup of feudal lords along with those people whose grandparents ruled this country. Imran Khan built his party from the ground up and his supporters consist of those who do have college degrees and can think for themselves.
Imran’s agenda is quite simple where he is asking questions around accountability and the government is doing everything but answer his questions. Hyper inflating his supporters coming to the capital is not a mutiny as the country of Pakistan is a democracy and its people do have a right to gather where and when they want. Most people who were indifferent or did not support Imran Khan are now emotionally sympathetic towards him for what the government is doing so his support is growing due to the efforts of his opposition who are trying to suppress him.
Stories about weapons, contraband and alcohol being found in his supporter’s vehicles and riots in Islamabad and brutality from his supporters are unwarranted and have left the entire country feeling empathetic towards Khan Sahib because everyone knows how honest your local cops are and can relate to the unfair practices that they themselves have been witness to.
The funny thing is that the man that his opposition calls a monster and claims is out to destroy the country is a self-created element where they are doing everything but answer the questions that he or any citizen has a right to ask from their government. What people don’t really get is the fact that Imran Khan no longer cares about being the Prime Minister of the country because he has gone into that “Pathan” mode where he is stuck on getting answers and you cannot negotiate or buy your way out of this one element of a Pathan “jub us ki sui kahin atak jaye”.
Whilst sitting on the sidelines I like the fact that those supporting him are educated technocrats and people from respectable backgrounds and not shady villagers out to get the maximum out of the city lights. Imran’s supporters and his educated team are a good lot of people that anyone should trust the future of the country to. He after all as a nation we all seem to be exhausted by dynastic politics and everyone is sick of believing that if we elect the same goof troupe then things will be different.
Our masses are tired and disgusted by the disrespect shown by the lions of Punjab by their false promises and do not want to have anything to do with their cousins from Sindh either. The country needs a fresh change of thought and oddly enough I strongly believe that Imran Khans policy on closing old books before opening new ones is exactly what terrifies anyone in power in the present regime.
Khan is a self-created politician who did not come to power on baap kamai like the rest of those who are doing everything to be evasive. Khan has been struggling and I feel he is a good option because having the job of the Prime Minister of this country is quite a horrible task and if he is willing to try to lead the country to betterment then why not let PTI try! I for one would support it because almost all their leaders do have college degrees and the ability to see reason and logic. I feel assured that even though time sill be difficult at least it will be less painful and less emotionally expensive than dealing with those who simply run from accountability.
It does not matter what you believe but Khan Sahib does have a few very valid points and the assuring thing is that before he makes any decisions he seeks legal counsel. I mean come on it’s about time we supported a so called “Monster” that the government themselves created by being evasive and giving him so much more air time. It’s ridiculous how those in power have done everything but answer the questions of one man.
I as a Pakistani citizen would like to see a management change in Pakistan and I for one irrespective of what anyone says will vote for Imran Khans party because it’s the next best thing to hope. It’s stupid to endorse and support a repeat offender politician and expect them to change their habits so to me Khan is a viable option. I thank the present politicians and press media for enabling me to decide what I want as a citizen of this country!
Like me there must be those who are not that hard and fast supporters of any political party yet would do anything to ensure that dynastic politics comes to an end. If you agree and are tired of being bullied and an unfair government then do share this post!
If you have thoughts then please do comment, if you liked what you read please do share this on social media,
The Evolution of Education
Life was extremely simple when I was growing up because education was quite easy compared to today. We had real paper books and we had real friends and life was quite simple as we came in doors when the streetlights came on. In the 80’s you went to school and then you played sports it was that easy. Ever since mobile phones came along and the internet revolution happened in the 90’s it seems that the entire world became information age junkies.
Today we have two-year-old babies who know how to switch on televisions, set the temperature on the AC and we have toddlers teaching parents how to load applications onto their mobile devices. It seems that no matter how much information you throw at today’s youth they just cannot seem to be enough. If you look at the ripple down effect onto the corporate world, then you will notice that no longer does one need to work hard and slave over long hours if one has access to technology because they only need to manage their time and allow technology to have them work smart.
As time moves on and we keep evolving so do the age limits of your CEO’s. If you contemplate your childhood and you are a sixties or seventies child you will agree that CEO’s and business owners were in their early fifties. Today a young college dropout buck with a hoodie, a laptop and a mobile phone is probably the richest man on earth as well as the CEO of the largest social media network ever created by working smart.
Education over the years has been evolving at a rate so fast that it is beyond one’s comprehension as to what the latest new fad will be as far as a standard system goes. No longer do you need to be in a brand name school to get into an IVY league college or university. No longer does your child need to get twenty million A stars or ten million lightning bolts to prove to the world that you are a good parent and your child is not an idiot!
Today colleges look at well-rounded individuals who can do good with what they will learn (basically people with souls). Having a great report card is one thing but being a good human being comes from the stuff that you are made of and what values you were raised with. I work in the not for profit sector for education and I have seen how children these days applying for further education are either robots who repeat what they have read in textbooks like parrots or simply those who just want to achieve the highest grades without a purpose.
When I was growing up your choices for a career were quite easy, either you wanted to be a cop, a fireman or be a soldier and if not any of those then by default you wanted to fill in daddy’s shoes. By the time you reached college all you wanted to do was decide from your three main choices which were law, medicine or if your daddy was rich then you went abroad to buy your economics degree.
Today one of the biggest problems that the youth face is deciding on what career they want to follow. Their choices are so diverse with specializations that promise you a wealthy lifestyle that when a college applicant fills out a form they usually fill in “undecided” as a major.
The youth of today has become aware that they do not want the hard working lifestyle that their parents had and if given a choice they would rather get a degree doing something they enjoy and really be motivated to go to work rather than get a degree for a career that they will simply not wind up wanting to emotionally invest in and just punch in the hours to earn a paycheck.
My question to all of you parents who today rely upon a dual income to run your homes is that are we educating and raising our children right? I mean we throw all our children into an education hamster wheel or a rat race to get the highest grades but for what? The youth today is so aware of what is going on in this world that they can inwardly digest far larger quantities of information than you or I did when we were growing up.
Are we raising an army of soulless robots and doing right by our children by forcing information into them when we should also spend more time allowing them to reason logic and discover mistakes for themselves in a controlled environment? I mean is the type of education we are providing to our children for our inner satisfaction that we did our jobs as parents or is for the children?
A common problem that a lot of parents have with their children today is that they feel totally disconnected. This disconnection which parents feel to be emotional is intellectual if you look at it from the eyes of a child. Parents want to be close to their children yet the fact is that the generation gap for this generation has widened due to many factors and one of those being that rather than spend time with your children throughout the year parents squeeze in a holiday one a year to make up for time lost earning a living to keep it all going!
My point is that we never stop learning and we need to ensure we as parents also continue to do so and keep up with this youth that is evolving at a much faster rate than anyone of us ever will! I guess one of the fail-safe measures is to change our own lifestyles and ensure that we as invest more time in our homes and know when to stop living in the bubbles we all do! If you have any ideas or comments they would be deeply appreciated…
If you have thoughts then please do leave a comment, if you liked what you read please do share this on social media...
Monday, October 10, 2016
Image credits - Facebook
WHY IS TRUMP A BLESSING FOR THE MUSLIM WORLD
I write this as a proud global Muslim citizen who feels that the world needs to know why Donald Trump running for the US Presidency is a great thing for the entire global community!
For decades the Muslim world has been subjected to all kinds of emotional stress and turmoil because of the simple fact that the United States felt that the Middle East needed “Freedom”. What the Muslim world cried tears of blood about in front of the United Nations for decades was always whitewashed by the corrupt western media who refused to display that the US treasury is not so well off and that the United States is quite a lot of debt itself.
Every time their people started crying about recession, inflation or what not the United States through the help of their intelligence agencies shifted the focus of the American People from “real” American issues to the Middle East. The Middle East or the Muslim world to the United States has always been an enemy they loved to hate yet hated to love because of the oil.
Image credits - Facebook
Referring to the US news media and history of only the past 6 months has proven that a white Caucasian of any descent can take an automatic weapon and massacre people in night clubs in Florida or in a school in the mid-west and will get a slap on the wrist and simply be written off as being extremely emotionally unstable and will need to see a therapist. However, a geriatric Muslim woman holding a US passport in a Hijab will be subjected to a body cavity search at any airport as she will be considered to be a threat. Should she speak in an accent on an airplane, security will be called and she will be forced off the aircraft because people feel scared.
Forget the illusion of equal rights because the Western media spreads fear immensely. We have only seen what Fox news has shown us which is, that any color other than white is an enemy of the state or threat in some way shape or form. (and I am referring to those people of color who hold US passports) Irrespective of what a political analyst will tell you or what the media will always try to cover up a brute harsh reality has been displayed before us of exactly what the American Dream stands out. Hollywood and the Television media in all its shows spread fear and depict a brute reality that unless you are white you will be profiled in some way and the usual suspects must be Muslim or foreign.
Image credits - Facebook
A brute reality of the here and the now is that the western media is so captivated by ratings that it has successfully given us a true insight into what fears the Muslim world has had. Donald Trump and his campaign capitalizing on the fears of what the media created highlighted the simple fact that Muslims along with any other country are or have been harassed for ages by the United States and its intelligence agencies with all their meddling! The funny thing is that as a country stolen from the Native Americans and built by immigrants the people themselves have a zero tolerance for immigrants!
Under the Red White & Blue Bald American Eagle the American people have in these past few months displayed their true colors. Today there is more fear within the United States than there ever was before and when I write this I do not refer to the common people who live in the hick towns. I refer to yet another monster that the US created and then could not control in the form of Donald Trump. This candidate running to manage a country that says it is the pioneer of the free world concept has sent shivers down the spines of every republican, democrat and independent.
The media created this monster for the people and now realized that the old quote that “Karma or what goes around comes around!” is a horrific reality as their own creation is out to destroy them in every way. These elections have proven the fact that for once rather than finding new enemies to hate they need to muzzle what they mistook was an attention seeking puppy turned out to be a no holds barred vicious Pit Bull. For decades the media has always had excuses to cover up everything and now this election has shown that if anyone had to win then it was not going to be on positivity and who the better candidate was rather it was going to be on the ground on what dirt one could dig up on the other person.
Image credits - Facebook
Trumps campaign based on thug guerrilla warfare at first was entertaining if not ridiculous. But the reality was that as the monster grew within a mindless nation of people who had been bred on fear by the media the reality became horrific as nobody had a solution to contain it. Trump openly went after every fear of the American people highlighting everything negative and in doing so proved what the Muslim world had been complaining about. It can be noted that since the past few months with the United States and its media in an utter disarray trying to put a leash on Trump and his ways the western press stopped highlighting stories about the Middle East.
The really cool thing is that Trumps campaign has done good for the Muslim world as in the past 3 months as he has gotten more and more obnoxious people have stopped talking about Gaza, Palestine & the Middle East. With the focus off our regions we may not have an ideal situation but things definitely have calmed down. It seems that the US military and how many drone strikes are happening are not the focus on the war on terror because they realized that they themselves are terrible!
Image credits - Facebook
I for one pray that Donald Trump gets elected because his 1930’s style of going fisticuffs with his own people will definitely keep the American people so busy that the US foreign policy will be to focus on building relationships rather than trying to free those who do not need it!
The Middle East & North Africa despite all its shortfalls is a region where Islam is predominant. Islam is a religion of peace and acceptance. Islam is a religion that forgives and honestly as a Muslim I feel God is doing to the US in the form of Trump what they have done to the world. What baffles me is the fact that this is a nation who has been fighting for freedom for over 80% of its existence with the entire world when its true enemies are its own people!
Image credits - Facebook
Ever since Donald Trump started running for president the world started becoming a calmer place! Sometimes you just really don’t need help from any capitalist big brother because every country if given a chance can fix its own affairs. Life has a way of balancing its self out and in the reality of the here and the now Trump is a blessing to any citizen of any country other than the United States.
If you like this post please do share it!
Saturday, October 8, 2016
Every election at the Karachi Gymkhana is a painful ordeal because emotions and underhanded politics along with personal agendas fueled by vanity overcome a sensible choice. Last year after a whole lot of corruption was unveiled and the drama queen perpetrators were exposed what happened was that Mr. Fawad Saleem Malik seemed to be the only choice.
Many questions arose with regard to the said gentleman that was democratically elected were highlighted but which basically boiled down to two things!
- Fawad Salim Malik is way too inexperienced to handle the entire club and its politics with such a huge number of opponents?
- And then the reality of the here and the now which was will he bring a change to the club or will things just continue the way they have been?
After a year has gone by and the next year’s elections are about to happen in less than 90 days the politics has started again and your couch potato hyena’s who sulked for an entire year are out in the lobby and all the areas of the club trying to sink their teeth and claws into everyone to make sure they can run the club. Again like all the permanent members I am forced to decide who will head our club for another year?
Before we run off on an emotional tangent which would be terribly unhealthy let’s look at all the facts in question which have transpired over these past 12 months and then decide if our President of the club is truly worth investing in for another 12 months. If we are to vote him in then let’s go on his track record rather than coffee table hearsay and actually look at what he has done. I am putting forward a few points which I observed over the past 10 odd months and I am sure you will be able to verify these as if you focus on what I am saying you will feel these changes in the Karachi Gym Khana too?
- The president first of all took a no nonsense approach towards corruption and held everyone accountable? Whilst the management finally had the courage to expose the corruption with regard to our guest house we have been paying for "I as a member would like to know how those responsible for looting the club will be held accountable? and will they be made to pay for what they have stolen from our membership fees and be forced to pay for finishing our residence facility at the club?"
- With regard to corruption Fawad Salim Malik may seemed to have been inexperienced but however everyone got it wrong as he did not allow a lot of old custodians to manage areas where there could be corruption – so bottom line a lot of old people got upset and were replaced by fresh new management blood that actually would work for the club than rob it like the old regimes were doing
- People I have spoken to know is that Fawad may not agree with what everyone and has a very formal approach which may be mistaken for rudeness sometimes however the President takes the club very seriously so rather than politely smile and play meaningless politics he gives every comment serious thought. The odd thing is that even those who may not like him say that he manages the club very professionally because everyone with ladies in the swimming area to our old dinosaurs that walk at the track can now openly voice their concerns and reservations. It has never actually been about what money was spent where at the club because all our members wanted was is to be heard and most of all respected. Today in the club every member be them permanent or temporary has a voice that people will listen to and that too seriously!
- Another thing one will notice around the club is the simple fact that all the staff has started smiling since the past year because The Presidents management team is extremely fair and despite the politics the staff know that their committees are now approachable. Where the staff was terrified to report pilferage they now know that they will get equal respect and feel happier in their jobs which in turn means that all our members and their families get service with a smile and when people do their jobs well out of a desire to work then your cost of running the club goes down because the staff is honest with you.
- If you ever walked in the back door entrance or gate in the past you would have shabby staff chewing gutka or paan and see the odd rat scurrying down the alley (& I don’t mean old MC members) in this past year the club has become cleaner and smells better and even the sports areas have been appreciated a lot. The bathrooms don’t smell that horrible anymore and one gets a very homely feeling around the club once again like it was 10 years ago.
- To many old members the club was their second home but in the past it was always a bitter reality that your crazy mother-in-law ran its kitchens. The food quality was horrible and what you paid for was not what you got. In this past year the quality of the food got better and the ambiance became so family like that people started coming back to the club to revive old friendships and memories over a good quality inexpensive meal. The catering of the club always had a lot to be desired but over these past few months the team has done an exceptional job in ensuring that quality is focused upon thus allowing the members to deliver the quantity demanded.
(Photo Credit - Mr. Ali Chinoy)
Now the club has a long way to go and whilst the work to be done is immense one thing is for sure that the club in this past year did not have vast pools of money to recover its self-respect. Fawad Salim Malik comes from a HR background and managing people is what he does best. Despite the politics Fawad has this ability to unite and lead people which he has done so in these past 10 months. This is the only president in the past decade who achieved so much because he empowered the honest right people to do the right job which was required.
Is the club perfect now? – NO!
Will Karachi Gymkhana ever be perfect? – NO!
But is it better right now than what it has been in the past 6 years? – YES! (from my side)
Do vote for Fawad Salim Malik as he & his Management Committee have truly earned your respect out of everything they have delivered in these past 12 months and not made a deal for it!
Before you cast your vote this year – look at the facts around you and then please cast your vote in the favor of this stability and progress being there for this coming year! If you liked this blog post please do share it with your friends and ask them to share it too!
This post is an independent view point of a permanent member who has seen and witnessed developments in the club and is not meant for lobbying, advertising or political purposes - these are the authors own personal view points which he has a right to voice and wishes to share on his own and is not endorsed by anyone or any person and is NOT paid content as the author lives in the UK & UAE but whenever in Karachi frequents the club!
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Us Pakistani’s like to pride ourselves for keeping up with technology and buy the latest gadgets even though some of do not understand the true potential of those gadgets or how to use them. We are an emotional lot and if someone we know has “something” we just need to have it irrespective of the costs.
Understanding Pakistan – Pakistan as a nation is blessed with everything that God could have gifted to a country. You have vast mineral deposits and the most fertile soil in the sub-continent and should the land not suffice to feed its people Pakistan has an immense amount of wealth in the form of food from the Arabian Sea. With all its resources Pakistan is extremely strategically placed on the map as a bridge for the western world into South East Asia ad this has been proven by the meddling of the western world by them giving birth to the Taliban and the Afghan Mujahedeen in our own back yard.
Let’s not delve into problems of the past as “Back to the Future” was only as good as the DeLorean made it look like. However, we can only better our future with decisions as a society now so let’s think positively! The next few years are going to be extremely challenging for us as a nation in many ways and when the world goes from your USB 3.0 version to a 4.0 version it would be good to know why things are happening.
Job Markets – Today it’s a dual income household and the house wife of today is a lethal multi-tasking, war machine. The latest surveys have shown that women who have their own professional lives actually make more productive members of society rather than bored coffee party moms. For us guys the issue is that no matter how you look at it the average CEO’s age is now between 34 – 38 years old and the longevity of the position has been shortened to between 24 – 36 months due to the rapidly changing world. Its not an employee’s market any more rather an employer’s trading hub and the value of any job today is ridiculed by the local universities churning out cheaper options in the millions who are willing to work for nothing.
Education – No longer does the world appreciate the fact that your respect was handed down to you by your family legacy. Today you have to earn the societal and professional respect you desire and in order to do that 25 rent a cops in the back of a Toyota pickup truck just will not cut it. Those comfortable days when you went abroad and came back with a foreign degree in business do not do the trick any more. The time when daddy would call his buddies in a bank and get you a job is long gone. Today the degrees are specific and the variances of courses are there for sale globally at anyones fingertips in their living rooms. So in short if you have to survive a career in the next decade you need to stay with the program and have your certifications upgraded along with your experience.
Life Style – We all love to live it up and no matter where you go our country men are known for being the best hosts and entertainers irrespective of who is paying the bill. One of the biggest stress factors for the modern day couple trying to make it through is that reality that socializing has become extremely expensive – either you’re in or you’re out! Being "in" comes with a whole new set of problems that money has around it. People simply do not live their lives with humility. Everyone is too busy living the American Dream which is an illusion of live now pay later. If you do not believe me ask your elders who will tell you that in their time over drafts and credit card were not there and life was much simpler than now! If families would revert back to old school values and live within their means and not use credit facilities, then a lot of society’s problems would be more or less bettered.
Gender Equality – In Pakistan we use a very “conveniently yours” approach towards women. Everyone is terrified at the shift in the balance of power because the wives now earn a lot if not more than their husbands. The time of home makers has blossomed into a full-fledged industry of very competent women who actually are better at some of the tasks us men try to do. Yet when we want to fail them for any given reason we quickly bring religion into the picture to justify most of our own needs fueled by vanity. If we as a society need to keep up with it and not go back in to the stone ages, we need to understand that our women are the ones who will be a key attribute to us surviving tomorrow.
The Class System – Everyone knows that we hate to be stereotyped yet are the biggest racists out there who define one’s worth by last name, then religion, then sect, then province and then city and then political affiliation. Bottom line all of our 190 million citizens are so hell bent upon seeking their own identity and individuality that it only takes a cricket match with India for us to unite and come together to agree on fighting a common enemy. A sad reality that we choose to ignore is that God invented man with the ability to think for himself, man invented technology so that he would not have to think for himself and technology destroyed man’s ability to logic and forced him to go on assumptions. If you look at it these days a goat herder in in the northern out skirts of Pakistan has the ability to ask Harvard to give him a grant to earn a degree because he has a cheap smart phone and a mobile internet connection. This was a luxury open to city slickers only less than a decade ago. So the reality is there is no class definition in reality and the borders between the classes have faded away. Most of the people in your city suburbs are in actuality living off credit vs your masses who are better off in many ways because they own their assets out right.
How to move ahead – Everyone of us is only a decision away from what their future will be. So in a nutshell you need to figure out in totality of where you stand right now! Beyond the obvious you need to realize that if you need something then what you need to work out is what does the future have in store for you and where you career is headed seriously. The cost of living is going up at a rate beyond control and surviving the next decade is going to be extremely tough. What everyone needs to do is understand how much of a run they will have left professionally and then work their professional lives backward to the reality for the here and the now removing any and all emotions aside. People need to be honest to their jobs and not their bosses or employers as it is not a selfish world. Plan your futures conservatively and do not plan to live beyond your means. Money cannot buy back time lost and time is the most precious commodity you have today! Respect time and value each second you have left and do not live on false dreams and hopes of a better future on credit!
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
PRAYING TO A LESSER GOD?
The national exchequer has just footed an immense bill to better the health of our Premiere, and that too just before the closing of a fiscal year as well as before the Holy Month of Ramadan. Irrespective of the gibberish that social media spews out in the form of Nihari meals being had in London, who is where and what is done… unanimously the entire country agreed on one thing and that was that Pakistan would never be held hostage by an obnoxious fat man from London… Well Hello! It just happened the only difference is the different shade of Haramipan within!
Our entire nation is so obsessed with bad news that everyone forgot our only living saint who has saved countless lives, loved unwanted children and devoted his entire life to bettering the lives of the poor and the unwanted from all over Pakistan! Since Abdul Sattar Edhi has lived a simple life never asking for anything in return how can we as a nation disrespect his contribution to picking up those dead bodies that every government left in their election aftermath. Abdul Sattar Edhi through his actions in my books needs to get the respect of being treated in one of the best hospitals in the world because if it were not for him and his devotees many people today would still be the silent majority.
He has been a voice for the oppressed! He has given love to hateful relationships and put out many a misconception with humble actions of serving humanity irrespective of gender, social, sexual, financial or for that matter any form of affiliation and orientation. What disgusts me is that we as a society will want a selfie with him to show that we sort of care but nobody will join us in giving one of the best Pakistani Ambassadors any form of support and being a voice for him when he needs it! It is purely disgusting how society will not embrace the man who embraced those who were considered to be Children of a Lesser God yet would love to tweet about the daily affairs of what our politicians are up to!
If you respect Edhi Sahib and feel that he is worthy of a lot more than he is getting, then for God’s sake join me in making him feel like he is worthy of respect well before his time will come as he has done more than enough for us and our country! Life is in the hands of Allah and there is no point in asking for an apology from a worthy person because it was too late… In life we all have regrets and resentment is a heavy burden to bear so before you switch into your 30 days of “Piety” mode why not make a difference if you really can!
On the matter of a fatty ruling Pakistan from UK… Well you will always have entertainment from that corner to fuel your Coffee Table talk so don’t worry about that! Let’s be Robin Hood and get the country to now give back to a man who gave it so much! Help me lessen my burden of sins that I carry by doing this one noble deed!
If you have the courage to accept this reality then share this on social media and spread the awareness!
Monday, May 9, 2016
This blog post is an opinion based upon actual conversations, social media posts and behavior traits that I have witnessed over the past seven odd days by the “peoples of Karachi!” The opinions and suggestions presented here are based upon not only common sense but on the lines of immense respect for our beloved Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) and the way that he spent Ramadan! This is not your colorful rendition or a Dr. (who’s degrees are questionable) cum TV show host version where you win a blender or a baby at the end of thirty days! This document is something, if you read it correctly and decipher it properly, could help you become a better person!
Now we all know that Ramadan is coming a few weeks from now so all our religious lessons and righteousness should tell us that we need to prepare our selves for a month ahead that will cleanse our souls and help us attain a higher plateau where our conscience is concerned! Realistically, in the month of Ramadan we should be peaceful, calm cool and collected! Guess what! NOT TRUE!
This year according to a lot of people the spiritual month of cleaning has inconveniently come at the time of the last financial quarter, Olevel Examinations & Summer Holidays and that too when the summer heat will refuse to be kind to anyone! Traditionally if one observes their own behavior it goes without saying that the first 10 days of this holy month are when the most amount of road rage happens because people do not follow a fasting ritual properly according to the Islamic way!
A lot of the road rage that happens is because people love to delve into the sin of gluttony with mid night deals and tons of pakoras and samosas and everything unhealthy when they should be eating right! Due to forced hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) people are extremely irate and lash out at others unknowingly! Even the most loveable Daadi Jaan becomes a world class churail when she does not get her way and the bijli goes!
When you fast you need to understand that it is not about starving your self! The basic fundamentals of Islam do not allow one to torture themselves so starvation is just simply ridiculous! One needs to “abstain” (NOT starve) from certain gifts of Allah that we take for granted such as food and water to know the reality of the fundamentals of the pillars of Islam! In order to abstain or fast properly the most important element that you need to look after is your body and its medical condition!
Yes, you need to have a proper diet that is very balanced! Gulping down soft drinks and gobbling mass quantities of unhealthy fried items only add to the medical complexities that one has to face as the human body goes from one extreme to another! Most heart attacks occur during Ramadan because us humans ingest an entire two years’ worth of carbohydrates and sugar within these 30 odd days that arteries clog, belts become tight and people need to refit and loosen clothes because after their food orgies they smoke a cigarette, loosen their belts burp, then fart and eventually high on food simply pass out with happiness thinking they will wake up amidst 72 virgins!
Not only should you eat right you need to move around to get all those goodies moving in your gastric chamber before they come out in an aerated form thus making you complain that you broke your Wudu! Don’t laugh! This is very serious, as shorter workdays enable you to have an excuse to sleep and believe the lies you tell yourself that you are tired and fatigued! This lack of movement makes the food just clog up your intestines and when it cannot be broken down any further it gives you an immense amount of not only flatulence but severe gastric cramps!
The human body is a fantastic creation of Allah where it conditions its self to undergo the harshest of conditions! This conditioning comes from the mind and if you condition yourself mentally that you are NOT doing the world or anyone a favor by fasting then you are a true Muslim!
In the days when the world was blessed with the physical presence of Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) as he walked this earth, him and his favorites fasted under the harsher conditions than we do today (we have air conditioning & cars which did not exist at that time) and they set an example by showing humility in the truest of forms! If you set your mind to it and plan your Ramadan out, then this month will bring you blessings in ways you cannot imagine as not only does one condition the mind but that conditioning of performing normal daily tasks also enables one to attain excellent time management skills and discipline that can not only help you in your personal but professional life as well!
If you truly want to fast, then you should do so without depending upon people or taking them for granted! As you have shorter work hours you should not look at the clock as to when you can run home to hop into bed and pass out till 10 minutes before the Azaan and then gulp down 25 glasses of Rooh Afza and an entire kilo of jalebi’s! Make the best of this time to set your matters right and try to add as much value as you can simply focus on getting the maximum amount of work done!
After work when you head home and now that you have time sort out those issues you put on the back burner for the past 11 months and be productive! Make your Roza into something whereby you are actually satisfied that you have added value to your family and life rather than being a log on a bed and a waste of space for the next 4 odd hours until iftar! Ramadan is the best excuse to get a lot of things done that are time consuming and you put off rather than making it an excuse to tell the world you are simply too tired!
The first seven days are supposedly the worst for your body as it conditions its self to go through the next three weeks! In these first seven days make sure that you drink an immense amount of water (more than you would consume in your daily average) as the initial excessive urination will happen but that is exactly what your body needs to do to flush out all the toxins that have built up over the past eleven months of abuse you put it through! (carbonated artificial and sugar loaded drinks & juices do not classify as safe) You need to consume an immense amount of water between Iftar and Sehri and ensure that you do not ingest toxins of caffeine willingly (avoid it where you can) as they themselves create other problems related to body hydration matters!
Further to this you should always eat planned meals and ensure you have a very balanced diet! Forget what Zubaida Aapa is selling on television as she really wants to justify the money she is getting paid to make an idiot out of every woman who aspires to be a Master Chef! Ensure the food that you buy is wholesome and not pre packaged and does not contain preservatives, rather the food you eat should contain a lot of protein (for strength) and fiber (to help bowel movements). Ramadan is a fantastic time to have evening BBQ’s for the entire family!
It is simply too expensive not only on your body and health but on your wallet when you run around trying to please the likes of fast food chains that try to get you blow your entire paycheck on the element of a SIN! Yes, greed! All fast food outlets hammer deals that cater to one of the deadly sins known as greed and in this case it is true! We fall for un healthy deals and they are not only expensive on our wallets but the entire body as it suffers immensely when we abuse it with bad quality food!
Families like to spend the month of Ramadan coming closer together as they usually eat together so it is advisable that during Ramadan you take full advantage of the fact that you break down all those invisible barriers and boundaries within your family and start talking to each other and forgiving & also forgetting past mistakes! This conditioning of your mind over the Iftar table can help you resolve a lot of those saas and bahu issues that you do not have time to address other wise because time does not allow you to do so!
Ramadan is not so serious at all! Ramadan is all about fun as well! If you look at these thirty days in a positive way there are so many activities that you can do during Ramadan that you will actually miss the honesty of emotions displayed by your actions that you will forcibly display trying to go to Jannah during these thirty days because for the rest of the months until Ramadan comes again you will be at the mercy of social and corporate and emotional politics of sin! This year actually celebrate your freedom from sin by going out with your families and loved ones and have a great time! Our cities are beautiful at night and the weather is awesome so enjoy your selves as an entire family and come together as one!
One last request! If you don’t mean it… Don’t say it! Every time, every Eid we are forced to meet “those” relatives whom we only meet or see when we welcome someone into this world or celebrate that day or when six gaz of lattha is required! Every Eid we make promises to come closer and meet the next day after the Eid Feast and that never happens! This year make a difference! You drive the change and make an effort with the family as Ramadan is all about Islam and Islam is all about “family”. We are all Allah’s children… so we are all ONE family!
Have a blessed, healthy & safe Ramadan! I am free for any Iftar parties if you are treating! my email address is email@example.com
Friday, April 1, 2016
Mein Doob Aye Eeee
Somewhere over the Rainbow Skies are Blue, Somewhere over the blue there is or was a tax free haven known as Dubai – Somewhere over the illusion of fancy buildings and shiny illusions the subcontinent got involved and every Indian and Pakistani had a great life. Some how these people became bi-polar and in their native countries they led simple lives drove humble vehicles and in this oasis they splurged money on Bugatti’s, lambo,s and the finest that even the British Nobility could not afford. Ove the years many bubbles popped but our desi brethren seemed to always land feet up – if a cat has nine lives then our fellow sub-continent men with a tasbih in one hand and a grey goose in the other proved that they had more luck because they sacrificed many a grey goose to get containers full of golden eggs whilst living an alter ego life in the Emirates.
What our brothers have done over the past 3 decades is something that I had to personally bear over the past few days. The bitter reality is that I was trying to set up a company in Dubai for one of my clients in the UK and found out a few harsh realities why one should not move or consider moving here. (these are a few realities I have found out over the past few days from government offices but verify them all on your own through personal contacts as the information is not publicly available – these are the realities one faces when they actually try to set something up) - if you cannot see these realities now they will slowly but surely be implemented very soon!
AED 70,000/- per person is a security license one has to pay for spouse and then for each child if you want your family to be here – this will be implemented very soon – within a few months – companies that have a history of less than 7 years with bank statements will be required to comply – only the family of the investor who has a paid up capital of AED 2.5 million on paper will get free visas for the family - the rest of the employees need to comply with the restrictions
AED 35 and might go up is a new Dubai Airport Tax (per assenger)
AED 20 and maybe will go up is a new Dubai hotel luxury tax which will go up (per room per guest)
Also hotels are now taking security deposits upon check in anywhere from one nights rent to a weeks (depending upon the season and property and company)
Also hotels are now taking security deposits upon check in anywhere from one nights rent to a weeks (depending upon the season and property and company)
School Fees – you are required to submit One years school fees as a deposit to the government should you wish to enroll your child here
Insurance & house rents – you are now required to pay for an entire year in advance and then also submit a whole years advance as security deposit – (so in reality you pay for 2 years in a lump sum where as one year will be security and one year will be advance payments)
Taxis – sit in one from the airport and come to deira dubai (5 minutes away) and you will ay an estimated (AED 45 – 65) (depending upon the location) – a ride last night from Deira to Tecom cost me AED 112 – not only have the rates gone up insanely – where if you take a cab from the airport no longer is the minimum fare AED 12 rather it is not AED 35 – also the salik taxes have increased on the roads so that is why the ride from Deira has increased so much
Auto leases – no longer can you buy a Mercedes or a Ferrari for minimum down payment – your lease is now only approved if your company guarantees it with paid up capital. They want to remove the element of bad debts and people leaving cars in the airport parking lots. By the way you also pay for the road taxes and insurance in a lump sum on advance for the entire duration of your lease???? – if you buy the car on cash you need to pay the road taxes in advance for a minimum of three years.
From 2018 Dubai will no longer be a tax free haven with VAT being implemented here and everyone will be required to show their income and wealth tax – the reason is because the emirates is now focusing on becoming better than London and is already more expensive than London
There will also be restrictions on visas and those will eventually become stricter with limitations on what we in the subcontinent have abused and perceived as a luxury.
I went to atleast six different people from six different walks of life and cultures for this and was very lucky that an old friend of mine who is based here was the most honest of the lot (if he reads this he will know who he is) - he gave me a reality fo the here and the now
So in a nutshell the Emirati’s who supposedly have never worked in their lives and lived off everyone’s illusion to be a millionaire have now wizened up. No wait they did something better - they educated their youth very well who now impliment cost effective and sensible policies! I had a detailed discussion with a few Emirati’s with whom I was in college and even discussed the reality of what my British Clients wished to do. Now these local's who are very old friends and we have known each other for a long time subtly disclosed that the country wants to change its image and Dubai the most popular Emirate is now moving toward being taken more seriously as a business hub where the global perception of the “bubble effect” is being eradicated! They would like to show that Dubai is stable as an economy and a country and frankly are all tired of everyone using Dubai as a financial post office.
One of my friends also told me that Doha is coming up as a hub and will compete very strongly with Dubai especially with its new Airport and Q-Air being now considered to be 7 star as an airline so that is another reality they need to face.
If you would like a simple comparison of what I mean – this is your reality below
I was looking to buy 4 laptops – Gitex is on – each laptop that I was looking at was for AED 2,600 (retail) in Gitex it was costing AED 1999 – (great huh?) well wait consider this reality by adding on AED 200 for taxis (both ways) or if you are in your own car then fuel Salik and parking) then the ticket to the Gitex which is AED per person – then the various other hidden charges – and it will actually cost you the same if not more than the highest retailer – by the way – Gitex is a fish market for every khepia and it is so packed that in a retail store it will take you on hour and in gitex buying that laptop will take you at Least – 5 – 7 hours – so yes also add in the cost of overpriced coffee (not starbucks) and a bottle of water at AED 16 for a small bottle – if you need to eat a small sandwich please keep AED 30 (minimum) and then if you need to use the loo please make sure you have that extra Dirham coin so you can tinkle or poop.
In the end as I walk away all I can only do is but respect the Emirati people (who actually are very warm lovely loyal and loving people... and now that the entire new generation is educated very professional intelligent and extremely humble…. But wise and no longer ignorant or silly as our desi brothers considered them to be)
This may seem a bit crude buy I guess I found the end of the rainbow and rather than finding a unicorn and a pot of gold I stumbled upon many Leprechauns being cornered by Minotaurs!