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Sunday, August 16, 2015

IMMACULATE MISCONCEPTIONS



IMMACULATE MISCONCEPTIONS
What you need to know about working in the Middle East!

I am a Human Trafficker (only joking - actually I work in the HR field) where I literally sell people to organizations or for that matter make am your average phupo or nosy Khala basically a family Marriage Counsellor where I make professional marriages happen.

In my years of playing HR Tennis on the International or GCC Tennis courts I have come across a few misconceptions that need to be cleared for every Desi Bhai hoping to quit his job and come here thinking he will strike black gold and be driving a Ferrari within a month!

So if you are thinking about moving or working here you should read this as I have focused purely upon Dubai or better still the UAE…

THE MIRAGE – What you see online is NOT what you get!  They say if you walk in the desert then you will see many mirages when thirsty and Dubai or UAE is just that…  People come here thirsty with the vision of what might be giving up good jobs and respect at home having burnt their boats only to be very disappointed of the reality of the here and the now specific to them.  So if you want to come to Dubai make sure you do not burn all your boats back home…  Also understand that jobs are not waiting for you here in Dubai and us desi’s are the biggest bulllshitters so dont fall for your buddies telling you that it will all work out rather you need to do everything your self and you need to have an immense amount of patience before you get a job you might not like but will pay the bills.

THE ASSUMPTION – What your buddies show you online on social media is not truly how great their lives are!  Dubai has perfected the come rich and leave broke business module for every visitor because it is geared towards the super rich people.  Dubai on some fronts is even more expensive to live in than London and whilst being a great place to live – it is extremely expensive.  So if you get a job here make sure you can pay for your self first and then consider your family!  People who come to the GCC region come here for 2 reasons alone – One to Party and one to work!  If you have come here to party then enjoy and head home without any regrets but if you are thinking of coming here to work then make sure that you are not under the illusion that your life will be just like your basht frands who posts pictures online of him next to a super car with a hot blond hugging him.  (in reality he could be the auto detail guy who is being grabbed by the blonde as he just scratched her car and she is waiting for the police)

THE KHAZANA EFFECT – No you will not be able to save lots of money once you are here because the cost of living in the Emirates is extremely high!  You will be extremely lucky if you can manage your own family’s expenses so do not think you can manage another houses expenses back in your own country! 

WHO GETS HIRED – Mostly people dislike hiring Pakistani’s because they are extremely expensive emotionally and professionally horrible people to deal with (generally perceived) Our Pakistani bhais have one major thing that goes against them and that is they are very emotional (Jazbaati) they make excuses and always give off an attitude which nobody needs.  People or bosses here in the GCC region are looking for professional employees who can not only talk the talk but also can deliver the walk.  This is a sales driven economy and marketing is crap.  Our Brothers are great at giving a fantastic first impression but when push comes to shove they always have the inability to deliver and obviously lose respect in front of the employer.  Some of them who have done exceedingly well in the GCC region are those who have professional degrees that are backed by education (doctors / lawyers) other who have done very well are the movers and shakers get recruited automatically because they have the ability to sell…  (Everyone loves someone who can generate revenue)

WHAT WILL WORK FOR YOU – If you want to work in the GCC region you need to have the ability to not just be a fast talker but need the ability to listen and be a solution provider that can work hard with the ability to switch into a smart working environment.  You need to be extremely proactive and used to very long hours and demanding schedules to allow you to survive here!  UAE or Dubai is not just about the malls and drama.  Forget the glamour and focus on the reality of what you can do and for that you or any individual needs to have a clear presence of mind – be aware of global current affairs and live an extremely physically healthy lifestyle.

WARNING – Only think about trying to work here if you have the ability to withstand the test of time professionally because nobody gives a toss if you are the Director of Admin / HR / Finance / Sales or whatever in Pakistan.  Over there you might be a legend due to your ability to display your worst inner features – here in the GCC region – you are and always will be a nobody when you come out here and actually have to start at the bottom.  Corporate politics are not appreciated here and nobody gives a shit what sheikh daddy knows because you are the smallest minnow in an ocean of hungry Great White Sharks.


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SPECIAL NOTE / DISCLAIMER! This is an independent blog post not intended to endorse or be against any private, public or social organization, political or religious faction or any living person!  This post has been written to enable you to engage your mind with a free school of thought whom you the reader have and make your own independent choices by yourself!  Further to this please read my disclaimer at the bottom of EVERY blog post (in the past as well) before you go off getting offended!