Pages

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

OVERCOMING DEPRESSION


OVERCOMING DEPRESSION 
& FINDING NIRVANA
Here is some advice on how you can find internal happiness & overcome depression!

I have lived with depression for many years and was treated by the worst and the best of them in many countries and eventually I got over it so here’s how I overcame it!  In this blog I would like to tell you what depression is and how to overcome it!

Today’s humans are just bodies that wake up every day and then eventually fall asleep to wake up another day until the time has come to answer to a higher calling.  Almost all of us are trapped in a world where we just exist terrified of the inevitable death that will befall us at one time or another.  If you look around you or even within you a harsh epiphany will happen and you will notice that a lot of people are unhappy for some reason or the other maybe even yourself?  

Every decade is known for something or another and this decade is known for bringing out a lot of depression related issues out into the open which were a taboo to discuss in public to avoid being stigmatized.  Today depression is a more comfortable issue to discuss and running wild and whilst your go to therapist gets rich or your psychiatrist dopes you up with every chemical he gets a kick back for prescribing there are many other solutions to overcoming depression.

Other than chemical solutions people have turned to religion and whatnot to try to cure this phenomenon classified as a disease (which I believe it is not) but rather a state of mind.  Depression when it hits you can manifest its self in many forms or ways unknown to the person it affects.  The first responders or the first people to get affected or notice this is in the persona behavior change.  People affected by depression can take on many behavior traits that often might get your relatives to think you need a shrink and the shrink going on what everyone else will tell them will juice or dope you up accordingly. 

On a completely different plateau people suffering from depression also resort to alcohol and drug abuse to try to get away from the situation and eventually fall victim to addictions and other issues to add to the main problem.  So in short depression I believe that depression cannot be categorized as there are many variances of it and how it will evolve in a person and neither can it be cured by taking a pill or speaking to a therapist alone.

What qualifies me to make such statements are a few facts about me that I chose to accept!  I was born in Pakistan and I suffered the wrath of society's ability to judge a human being before it accepted it into the social wolf pack.  I had problems with the world and myself and I spent the better half of my youth being taken from doctor to soothsayer to be cured.  Eventually in 2012 I ended my depression and broke free from all the chains around me as I discovered that only I could liberate myself from these invisible chains.

First, you need to understand that depression is something that affects every human being today.  The reason is that time is of the essence and whilst we try to do the most in the minimum amount of time what humors social media today is someone else being ridiculed more than our selves.  The world is a brutal child’s playground where one finds more enemies hidden within their friends and then a whole lot of people in their homes who listen with the intent to rebuttal rather than understand.  So most people feel extremely lonely and to be honest in this civilization that is a forest of people swaying where the social tide goes nobody really has time to understand other people’s issues yet get really upset when they don’t get the attention they want,

Some of us have auto response mechanisms within our minds to deal with it.  Those that don’t allow this state of mind to overtake their true personas and portray its self in way unimaginable to the human mind or conscience.  To defeat depression, you need to know that the only person who can do it is “yourself”.

When you are looking to defeat “depression” basically what you are looking for is freedom from the person you are and have a need to evolve into a better human being.  To do that you need to change your lifestyle completely and you need to surround yourself with positivity. 

Toxic relationships are also a root cause for depression because we rely on societies approval to simply fit in.  I know so many people out there who go to work and do fancy jobs yet are the most miserable people inside.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself in a healthy way that is not offensive from maybe a parent or a sibling or a spouse to get that emotional freedom you need.  As it takes two hands to clap one needs to be honest with themselves and get a firm grip on the reality of why they are depressed.  Since you are self-evaluating yourself you also need to discover what makes you happy!

Overcoming depression is not an easy task because one of the main ingredients you need to change in life is who you truly love?  You need to be completely selfish when it comes to “love” as the most honest relationship you will ever have in your existence will be with yourself.  Loving yourself means ensuring you are comfortable with the person you are or want to be and that is emotionally and internally.  Once you have decided that only then should you focus on your exterior. 

Your exterior development or re-designing will depict how secure you are as a human being.  You might want to change the job you do and rather than going to work to pay the bills and then coming home to hit the bottle you might just want to change what you do by making a structured plan on how to do something you would love to do every day!   Curing depression also about how you spend your time so one of the skills you need to develop is self-time management. 

A huge part of curing depression or overcoming it is to train your most powerful weapon against it which is your mind.  You need to train your mind to ignore and block out anything that affects you as a human being.  So basically, think with your brains and not your hearts when it comes to this and define boundaries in all your relationships.  This is easy to do at work and everywhere else but almost next to impossible to do with your family.  Your family has their own set personalities and whilst you know they will not accept any form of criticism and expect you to change you need to change this balance of emotional control in a way that will leave you happy.

Most depression related problems occur when person is in their adolescence.  Family structures, especially from countries like China, India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka that are used to be extremely close knitted have a hierarchy system that they believe is right and extremely narrow minded when it comes to change.  Eventually the young, frustrated for not being understood as an individual might act out and then automatically written off permanently as a problem child!  

When a parent takes a child to be cured for depression or any psychological problems little do they realize that they too need to bring about a change within them.  If a flower does not bloom in a certain environment, then one needs to change the environment and not the flower.  So, if you have a child who might be suffering from God knows what your medical practitioner tells you just sit down and think everything out about the environment your child lives in before you decide to label the child.

Only you can cure depression and only you can decide how to take control of your life.  To me anyone who is in depression is allowing it to happen.  There is no fixed cure to handle depression because there are so many different types of it.  Maybe changing your environment might help you and maybe.  Depression is not hard to cure if you can discipline your life.  Also, self-help books never helped me only common sense did.  I found a purpose for myself, I set some big goals and then many small ones to help me attain that big goal (I still have not attained it yet) and then life suddenly became worth living!

Material possessions do not help you overcoming depression.  They only distract you away for a brief momentary lapse of reason and shift your focus from the core issues.  I spent years trying to buy my emotional freedom only to realize that it left me lonelier than ever and feeling empty inside.  When I started working on myself and making sure that everything I did was centered around my emotional and personal happiness my journey to recovery started. 

If you choose to liberate yourself from depression, then please understand that it will be extremely difficult and you need to stay strong to yourself as you are to your religion.  Once you fall in love with yourself and want to better yourself you need to know that there will be hurdles, obstacles and hiccups from within your own family and friends but you should never compromise your happiness and the commitment you have made to being a happier person by reverting to your old “normal” self the way people liked you to be or wanted you to be.

Depression is easily cured by living in a self-structured positive environment, believing in self-motivation and having ambition as well as having a purpose in life and then surrounding yourself with people who can emotionally appreciate your life with positivity.  The hardest thing in overcoming depression is to emotionally disconnect with those who will constantly trigger your negativity.  Only you can be the change that you want to be so why not try.  If you are suffering from depression, please know that you are in control and only you can make it stop. Unless you have a child suffering from depression then you need to know that you are also in control and you need to be the change you want to see in your child!


If you like this post – please share it!  If you suffer from depression and you need someone to understand you write to me – amyn@ghulamalis.ae

Monday, October 31, 2016

Khans Agenda

 Khan’s Agenda
Who created this monster for PMLN?

Before you read on please note that I did NOT belong to any political party or support any politician and these are my thoughts and observations as a Pakistani citizen who is watching all the drama unfold on the local Pakistani news channels.  With all this hype there is an undecided silent majority that questions what is all the drama and fuss around Imran Khan & What is his real agenda?  Thanks to the media I too decided to support Imran Khan from now on!

Pakistan is a nation that follows trends and not one that likes to create trends.  As of late Imran Khan has been in the foreground getting a whole lot of media time and attention because he is screaming that he will get answers for the people of Pakistan from those who robbed the country!  As a citizen one needs to understand the situation in its entirety before basing a judgement so let’s get a few things straight and get some answers here.

Most politicians have had their careers handed down through dynastic rule!  Most political parties have a strong buildup of feudal lords along with those people whose grandparents ruled this country.  Imran Khan built his party from the ground up and his supporters consist of those who do have college degrees and can think for themselves.  

Imran’s agenda is quite simple where he is asking questions around accountability and the government is doing everything but answer his questions.  Hyper inflating his supporters coming to the capital is not a mutiny as the country of Pakistan is a democracy and its people do have a right to gather where and when they want.  Most people who were indifferent or did not support Imran Khan are now emotionally sympathetic towards him for what the government is doing so his support is growing due to the efforts of his opposition who are trying to suppress him.

Stories about weapons, contraband and alcohol being found in his supporter’s vehicles and riots in Islamabad and brutality from his supporters are unwarranted and have left the entire country feeling empathetic towards Khan Sahib because everyone knows how honest your local cops are and can relate to the unfair practices that they themselves have been witness to.  

The funny thing is that the man that his opposition calls a monster and claims is out to destroy the country is a self-created element where they are doing everything but answer the questions that he or any citizen has a right to ask from their government.  What people don’t really get is the fact that Imran Khan no longer cares about being the Prime Minister of the country because he has gone into that “Pathan” mode where he is stuck on getting answers and you cannot negotiate or buy your way out of this one element of a Pathan “jub us ki sui kahin atak jaye”.

Whilst sitting on the sidelines I like the fact that those supporting him are educated technocrats and people from respectable backgrounds and not shady villagers out to get the maximum out of the city lights.  Imran’s supporters and his educated team are a good lot of people that anyone should trust the future of the country to.  He after all as a nation we all seem to be exhausted by dynastic politics and everyone is sick of believing that if we elect the same goof troupe then things will be different. 

Our masses are tired and disgusted by the disrespect shown by the lions of Punjab by their false promises and do not want to have anything to do with their cousins from Sindh either.  The country needs a fresh change of thought and oddly enough I strongly believe that Imran Khans policy on closing old books before opening new ones is exactly what terrifies anyone in power in the present regime.

Khan is a self-created politician who did not come to power on baap kamai like the rest of those who are doing everything to be evasive.  Khan has been struggling and I feel he is a good option because having the job of the Prime Minister of this country is quite a horrible task and if he is willing to try to lead the country to betterment then why not let PTI try!  I for one would support it because almost all their leaders do have college degrees and the ability to see reason and logic.  I feel assured that even though time sill be difficult at least it will be less painful and less emotionally expensive than dealing with those who simply run from accountability.

It does not matter what you believe but Khan Sahib does have a few very valid points and the assuring thing is that before he makes any decisions he seeks legal counsel.  I mean come on it’s about time we supported a so called “Monster” that the government themselves created by being evasive and giving him so much more air time.  It’s ridiculous how those in power have done everything but answer the questions of one man. 

I as a Pakistani citizen would like to see a management change in Pakistan and I for one irrespective of what anyone says will vote for Imran Khans party because it’s the next best thing to hope.   It’s stupid to endorse and support a repeat offender politician and expect them to change their habits so to me Khan is a viable option.  I thank the present politicians and press media for enabling me to decide what I want as a citizen of this country! 

Like me there must be those who are not that hard and fast supporters of any political party yet would do anything to ensure that dynastic politics comes to an end.  If you agree and are tired of being bullied and an unfair government then do share this post!

If you have thoughts then please do comment, if you liked what you read please do share this on social media,

The Evolution of Education

The Evolution of Education

Life was extremely simple when I was growing up because education was quite easy compared to today.  We had real paper books and we had real friends and life was quite simple as we came in doors when the streetlights came on.  In the 80’s you went to school and then you played sports it was that easy.  Ever since mobile phones came along and the internet revolution happened in the 90’s it seems that the entire world became information age junkies. 

Today we have two-year-old babies who know how to switch on televisions, set the temperature on the AC and we have toddlers teaching parents how to load applications onto their mobile devices.  It seems that no matter how much information you throw at today’s youth they just cannot seem to be enough.  If you look at the ripple down effect onto the corporate world, then you will notice that no longer does one need to work hard and slave over long hours if one has access to technology because they only need to manage their time and allow technology to have them work smart.  

As time moves on and we keep evolving so do the age limits of your CEO’s.  If you contemplate your childhood and you are a sixties or seventies child you will agree that CEO’s and business owners were in their early fifties.  Today a young college dropout buck with a hoodie, a laptop and a mobile phone is probably the richest man on earth as well as the CEO of the largest social media network ever created by working smart.

Education over the years has been evolving at a rate so fast that it is beyond one’s comprehension as to what the latest new fad will be as far as a standard system goes.  No longer do you need to be in a brand name school to get into an IVY league college or university.  No longer does your child need to get twenty million A stars or ten million lightning bolts to prove to the world that you are a good parent and your child is not an idiot!  

Today colleges look at well-rounded individuals who can do good with what they will learn (basically people with souls).  Having a great report card is one thing but being a good human being comes from the stuff that you are made of and what values you were raised with.  I work in the not for profit sector for education and I have seen how children these days applying for further education are either robots who repeat what they have read in textbooks like parrots or simply those who just want to achieve the highest grades without a purpose.

When I was growing up your choices for a career were quite easy, either you wanted to be a cop, a fireman or be a soldier and if not any of those then by default you wanted to fill in daddy’s shoes.  By the time you reached college all you wanted to do was decide from your three main choices which were law, medicine or if your daddy was rich then you went abroad to buy your economics degree.
Today one of the biggest problems that the youth face is deciding on what career they want to follow.  Their choices are so diverse with specializations that promise you a wealthy lifestyle that when a college applicant fills out a form they usually fill in “undecided” as a major.  

The youth of today has become aware that they do not want the hard working lifestyle that their parents had and if given a choice they would rather get a degree doing something they enjoy and really be motivated to go to work rather than get a degree for a career that they will simply not wind up wanting to emotionally invest in and just punch in the hours to earn a paycheck.  

My question to all of you parents who today rely upon a dual income to run your homes is that are we educating and raising our children right?  I mean we throw all our children into an education hamster wheel or a rat race to get the highest grades but for what?  The youth today is so aware of what is going on in this world that they can inwardly digest far larger quantities of information than you or I did when we were growing up.

Are we raising an army of soulless robots and doing right by our children by forcing information into them when we should also spend more time allowing them to reason logic and discover mistakes for themselves in a controlled environment?  I mean is the type of education we are providing to our children for our inner satisfaction that we did our jobs as parents or is for the children? 

A common problem that a lot of parents have with their children today is that they feel totally disconnected.  This disconnection which parents feel to be emotional is intellectual if you look at it from the eyes of a child.  Parents want to be close to their children yet the fact is that the generation gap for this generation has widened due to many factors and one of those being that rather than spend time with your children throughout the year parents squeeze in a holiday one a year to make up for time lost earning a living to keep it all going!

My point is that we never stop learning and we need to ensure we as parents also continue to do so and keep up with this youth that is evolving at a much faster rate than anyone of us ever will!  I guess one of the fail-safe measures is to change our own lifestyles and ensure that we as invest more time in our homes and know when to stop living in the bubbles we all do!  If you have any ideas or comments they would be deeply appreciated…

If you have thoughts then please do leave a comment, if you liked what you read please do share this on social media...