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Sunday, April 20, 2014

DYING TO LIVE

DYING TO LIVE!
Exactly four years ago today, I woke up at 5 in the morning lying in a hospital bed praying that my heart stop beating or someone mistakenly kill me by giving me the wrong medication.  I was bedridden was relying upon people to feed, clean and wipe me down and had to face a permanent spine disorder & my girlfriend of 11 years and then wife of 5 years took a khula because she did not want to do time with someone who might not recover mentally and physically.   I was suicidal, depressed, my business failed and my parents bailed me out from the people I owed money to the only other problem I had was that my limbs refused to move so I could not kill myself! 

So in one line “Mother Nature took a massive dump on my life and the “Allah” that I believed in all my life was not talking back to me or giving me any form of hope!”  Slowly, as I became a bit mobile I got on the internet but disconnected from everyone because only one of my so called friends came to see me regularly and spent time cheering me up!  I hated life my positivity was replaced by new found bitterness for everything and I had developed the following skills / triats,
1. To be able to utilize my time effectively as I was going nowhere (literally)
2. To be able to listen to people and understand their needs (it’s amazing how you look at life when you are numb from pain killers)
3. To be able to respect the little people (I mean sweepers, ward boys, nurses etc. who got paid shit and whom we take for granted!) 
One day after checking my emails, I found myself on Twitter. One of the tweets took me to an article about this new thing called whatsapp on TechCrunch. That article took me to coding blogs, where I discovered you can actually learn how to code.  A few months later I was back home in bed writing code for a VOIP solution as I still had problems walking when I was disrupted by a call from a friend of mine (who had just gotten back from tha You Kay after five years). During the call, I realized that day was actually the birthday of another friend of mine so I reconnected on Facebook where the top post on my news feed was about what a loser I was and had vanished having eaten up some ones money. (Whilst hospitalized my parents cleared that due) 
With bitterness and anger fueling me but limited mobility and still partially suicidal somehow I overlooked everything and started focusing on getting me a job.  After I had no luck having pursued a blogging job I started coming up with a new startup ideas that to me could be much better than Viber, Napster etc. etc.! Soon, my mind was exploding with amazing ideas and I was exhausted.  
I was heavily into coding and as I had moved from a bed to a chair I was online 24 / 7 one day whilst coding Oh wait, I just saw another tweet. This time it was about “HOW TO bla bla bla IN bla bla bla STEPS.” That tweet took me to gizmodo.com where I spent another...
OK, STOP! FU*K ME, I WAS A SELF PROCLAIMED BROKE WANNABE ENTREPRENEUR.   But it was 4 a.m., the middle of the night, and I had truly wasted another day doing nothing but jumping from one website to another.  I was still depressed & had a headache and felt so much pressure on my forehead. I was in bed with my cell phone logged into Facebook. That day, Three years ago, I decided to change the way I work because I was finally so fed up with the one thing that made me fail over and over again:  
I was the distracted miserable guy jumping from one website to another, from one idea to another, while getting absolutely nothing done. Oh, I also found it cool to call myself an entrepreneur.  Bad Time Management, Distraction and the inability to focus on things are the new illnesses of our generation of entrepreneurs.  I realized that there is too much noise, too much information overload. If you don’t start controlling your environment, you are destined to fail.  Of course I had my excuses such as:
“But I am an entrepreneur and I need to be inspired,”
“I need to learn new things if I want to become a successful entrepreneur,”
“I am just curious”

Yes, it’s true. We, the entrepreneurs, are curious. Actually, the problem is, we are so curious and critical about everything that we are constantly distracted while getting nothing done.

Here is what I did after that night that has since revolutionized my life:


1. BE ORGANIZED & CONTROL YOUR ENVIRONMENT

Entrepreneurs are the smartest people I have ever met. I don’t think it’s just because they are born to be so, but also because they use their brains much more than their peers working in the corporate environment, who are usually checking the clock to call it a day and go home.

Use this to your advantage and control your life. It all sounds easy, but how will you implement them on a day-to-day basis? Here are my suggestions that helped me a lot:

Write a little to-do list while you are enjoying your coffee. On a piece of paper, write down the things you will get done that day. Key: Don’t over-target. Be realistic about what you can accomplish during a single day. Don’t turn your LAPPY OR MOBILE on until you finish your breakfast.

Don’t check your emails or Facebook/Twitter at least for the first two hours in the morning. This will revolutionize your workday. Don’t let an email or Facebook post control your day; let yourself be the power here.

Go offline. Literally. Use software’s like Anti-Social or Cold Turkey to block websites like Facebook or whatever you want to. I personally use Cold Turkey; it’s free and I block distracting websites for hours or I go completely offline (you can block your entire browser application such as Chrome) when I need to focus.

Disconnect & don’t bring any of your devices (PC, iPad, cell phone) to bed and change your focus by doing something other than your business. Read a book or socialize with friends. This is crucial for two reasons: First, for your creativity and keeping yourself fresh without burning yourself out. Second, for letting your body produce melatonin, which has been identified as an absolutely crucial sleep hormone. And blue light is the biggest enemy of melatonin. No matter what, control your environment. You are the smartest thing you have ever met. Use that.

2. INHERIT THE OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE TRAIT

Come on. It’s not rocket science. You are not looking for the love of your life. If you are reading this, I assume you have spent about 15 years on this planet and have at least an idea of what you like and what you don’t. Remember, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

Discover what you are really passionate about and what you would change in your life or people’s lives. Think about what one thing you can do better than others, or how you could improve an existing problem.  I understand you need inspiration, but wasting a million days in a row jumping from one distracting website to another won’t help you find the idea of your life.

How do you make sure you’ve found that one single idea? Ask professionals (not khalas and Khalus) about their opinions!  Don’t start a company unless it’s an obsession and something you love. 
If you have an exit strategy, it’s not an obsession.

3. DO IT NOW – DON’T WAIT!

Procrastination / waiting or deferring your start date has been the single most reason Entrepreneurs have failed over the past decade.  So stop the vicious cycle and just start. You will be impressed by how many people will contact you or will want to work with you once you begin. Scratch your idea onto a piece of paper (yes, just on a piece of paper) and walk out of your home. Talk to people.


By the way, get a life and stop that bullshit of, “What if they steal my idea?” Talk to as many people as you can. Let them steal it if they really will, but you will kick their ass because you conceived it.

Please also stop saying, “I need to find an investor.” How about making some sales first? Maybe you will even realize you don’t need to give any share of your business to an investor. Even if you really need an investor, by making some sales, you will have a stronger hand to play.

4. BE FOCUSED! Say no to other ideas: Keep doing one thing, and do it fu*king well

Just because you started working on your idea doesn’t mean you won’t meet distractions along the way. Your mind will be about to explode with all the ideas you can apply to your business, the many features you can add to your product, etc. 

Keep your focus. Say no to distracting ideas. If you keep doing that, another thing that will impress you will be the power of what you studied in your marketing book: word of mouth.  You will be truly impressed by the number of people coming back and asking for more work. Who cares about competition? You are just beating yourself. Isn’t that what matters in the end?


5. GO NUMB & DON’T CARE! Stop giving a fu*ck what other people think!

If you are an entrepreneur because you want to prove other people that you are successful, then please go back to step one above. Make sure you are following your passion because you have a vision and you are out to change something in this world. Otherwise, this will kill you. You will have difficulty focusing and you will keep being distracted because you won’t really be passionate about getting anything done.

I did the hardest thing and that was to focus on being a TOP salesman that had no education, could barely walk, zero trust factor and had to rely on mommy's car when available!  Today I have the ability to write my own paycheck because I am still not textbook educated and I had fallen so low that the only way to look down was to look up!  Yes people fought me and those who are jealous still do mock me and try to flood me with negativity but I get the last laugh because I work because I want to where as 98% of the people I know today work because they have to.  The day they stop working their lights and fans go off and they will be evicted from society but as an entrepreneur I live in a fortress of self-created security that i own!

One important thing to remember is that your destiny may be defined in the stars but you choose your fate of tomorrow daily by your immediate honest decisions and actions today! 

Now what? Stop wasting your time reading this blog and get your ass back to work.


If you need to contact me or wish to befriend me then please... 
To work with me connect with me on Linked In - http://pk.linkedin.com/in/amynaghulamali/
If you would like to have a direct free consultation - contact me on - amyn@ghulamalis.com

Disclaimer! - The opinions I post are my own and I do not intend to hurt or offend you!  If you cannot allow me my freedom of thought then you have the right to voice an opinion and navigate away on the web.  If you follow my blog I thank you as it’s quite ridiculously entertaining...that is if you like what & how I write!

Saturday, April 12, 2014

THE FUCKIT LIST

THE FUCKIT LIST
Today priorities have changed and as I am a salesman these are the few things that I have listed that piss me off!  You might agree with me if not feel free to give your rebuttals…
01 Time is the most precious commodity today and people whilst working in top jobs have little or no time managements skills… they fart around the office on social media or in meetings (coffee parties) in bored (Pun intended) rooms and then sit till 10pm running the lights and fans and increasing the COGS of their employers trying to look busy but achieve fuck all because their minds are burnt out from procrastinating all day!

02 When some ittar clad, fake prada and Gucci knock off wearing social wannabe newbies arrive (age and sex does not matter)  in an entourage at any given venue – can be a mall super market or even a hospital or even sadder and open their doors but refuse to get off because they are in the midst of an important call to discuss what Kameena Lawn to buy or in the case of guys what Kameeni they will unscrew at night thus blocking up the entire traffic because they seriously think the world will not exist without them!
03 How people get upset when you ask them why they lied to you about being sick and broke and how their hangover is and if they want coffee for it because you saw the instagram & facebook posts along with foursquare checkins at some social elite club where they hosted an orgy of booze and horrible food to fit in with those who they aspire to be! 
04 Why the fuck do people call you up promising you an immense amount of business and fight you down for the penny on a bulk volume sale  for their company but at the end of the day they just want a discount on an iphone on 90 days credit which they will forget.
05 How someone calls you for a business quote in a friggin constant emergency – you feel like the guys bitchy wife has her legs up in the stirrups and is about to bring quadruplet puppies into this world and is crowning so he must have the cost NOW!  Once you give your cost the fucker vanishes and refuses t pick your call thus fucking your other professional relationships because in turn your people think you are being a Gandu and not responding!

06 Why people arrive at a social venue get off their cars stinking of newbie credit based wealth and make a hoo haa about why they were late due to work at 11pm at night because of some deal they were in the midst of closing…. Yet once again delaying everyone at the cinema because they have to make a fashionably late statement!

07 When you invite someone for an occasion they drink your free spirits and eat up what soul you present to them only to post on social media that the world should know they did you a favor by coming to your occasion because all they really wanted to do was work their way up the social ladder where otherwise they would never have been given the time of the day by those who really matter!
08 How people misconceive your politeness loyalty and affection and willingness to go out of your way for them as a sign of weakness and think they are irreplaceable and you cannot live without the company owned automobile they drive when in reality these narcissistic fucks really are not worth the time of day because they take you for granted and if you stopped picking up their phones it would not matter because they would find another nipple to suckle on where they would do the same thing to someone else!

09 When you stop giving someone the respect of the time or picking up their calls they bitch about how terrible you are forgetting the fact that they have over a period of time tested your patience and sanity by displaying no integrity or respect to you at all so honesty really does even come in here!  All they have as a weapon is to play the innocent victim card!

10 How people expect you to remember their birthdays and important occasions but take little or no interest in what is going on in your life only what they can benefit from yon immediately and that too without paying for it!   The sad thing is everyone insults your intelligence and if you overlook it because you want to keep a relationship they call you a chutia in public!

This is what society has come down to today where we live in a world where we can get the most out of everyone forgetting basic values because we are in some form of debt…  People to get ahead lie and trample on the lives of others thus stripping themselves of any form of humanity so when they pray five times a day it makes me wonder “what soul are they trying to save?”

If you need to contact me or wish to befriend me then please... 
To work with me connect with me on Linked In - http://pk.linkedin.com/in/amynaghulamali/
If you would like a direct FREE consultation please contact me on - amyn@ghulamalis.com

Disclaimer! - The opinions I post are my own and I do not intend to hurt or offend you!  If you cannot allow me my freedom of thought then you have the right to voice an opinion and navigate away on the web.  If you follow my blog I thank you as it’s quite ridiculously entertaining...that is if you like what & how I write! 


Monday, March 24, 2014

TOP 10 TIPS TO LOSE WEIGHT

TOP 10 TIPS TO LOSE WEIGHT

After college & University happened when I returned “fram tha US of Aay” every normal person said “Mash Allah sehat bohat achee hai!” Every socialite aunty I came across said “Ya Khuda Beta you really need to lose weight!” & unfortunately all the size zero chicks I tried to score with screamed “No way Don’t!... Free Willy” 

Glad you are smiling but bottom line, over a period of 18 years I never really had a problem with my weight, however everyone else did! “And you know who I mean!”  Every family occasion or gathering I had those aunties who wanted to avoid discussing the tribulations of their own families so they would try to sit with me and empathetically tell me about the benefits of losing weight!   The only way I could stop them from turning it into a full blown onslaught would be to question the details of their own kids divorces, addiction problems & homosexuality (in some cases)

However, today in many circles divorce is common almost a pre-requisite to be in a click, a coke is not a thanda at a ball and if you are a muff diving chick or a sausage swallowing lad you are the creative director, designer or some freak show that is politically correct somehow & somewhere! 

Anyway,  as society hammered me like mad they tried to put me in Shape by getting me a membership with a studly trainer, my family stopped cooking in oil, everything was baked, grilled or green!  I went from diet to diet, health club to health farm, dietician to doctor and at one point my family obsessed with that Anorexic Tart Mishi Khan marched me down to see a surgeon to have my stomach stapled but due to my disability and that concoction of drugs (Pharmaceutical Type) I take every surgeon bluntly refused.  Bottom line I couldn’t be fucked to lose weight and really did not care at all however everyone else kept pissing me off and I had perfected the art of deflection & avoidance!

My problems started when I developed a problem with my spine and the weight was something slowing me down and with my disability this was a problem.  However I figured out that now that I had limited mobility I wanted to be agile again and beat my problem so I went and visited a friend’s wife who was a dietician.  I was relieved because the advice she gave me was honest and helped me get started with a food / meal plan.  She told me three things that have stuck with me till today as they were honest. 
I realized that the last thing I wanted to do (because I physically couldn’t) was to be huffing and puffing on a treadmill like an 80 year old on Viagra.  I was going to make this fun! Over a period of 15 months I lost 18.7 Kilos doing these things & 10 inches on my waist and am still losing weight like mad!  I am sharing these with you and hope you will be able to use them too!

10. Drink at least 10 - 12 liters of water during a 24 hour period.
09. Have a good solid breakfast (anything really)
08. If you have to have lunch ensure it is 1/3 the quantity you would usually have.
07. Move around - (Example - Take the stairs instead of the elevator and get up and walk around your ffice frequently.) This will also give your eyes a rest from the computer screen.
06. Regulate your sleep cycle & ensure you get a minimum of 6 hours or so - (This is one that i failed to do miserably even today)
05. Dinner - Eat everything! Even Kunna / Paya and ghee walay parathay but eat about 85% of the amount you would regularly eat.
04. Start loving Fruit chaat Bhel Puri etc.
03. Stop spending hours with your laptop & Tv remote and start spending time with your family and kids OUTSIDE the house! - Take a break from work in a healthy way!
02. Eat your last meal 4 hours before you sleep!
01. Stop Drinking Alcohol
PLEASE NOTE!
  1. The above tricks were for “ME” and are all based upon common sense so if they don’t work for you then you might need to tweak them a bit! 
  2. Also to take into account I do NOT walk (exercise walk / jog) or pump iron etc. due to my disability yet the plan I came up with allows me to EAT EVERYTHING!
  3. I am not a dietician and have no medical degree so consult with a professional before you decide to take certain matters into your own hands!
Disclaimer! - The opinions I post are my own and I do not intend to hurt or offend you!  If you cannot allow me my freedom of thought then you have the right to voice an opinion and navigate away on the web.  If you follow my blog I thank you as it’s quite ridiculously entertaining...that is if you like what & how I write! If you need to contact me or wish to befriend me then please... 
If you would like a direct FREE consultation please contact me on - amyn@ghulamalis.com