Pages

Showing posts with label lahore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lahore. Show all posts

Monday, March 24, 2014

TOP 10 TIPS TO LOSE WEIGHT

TOP 10 TIPS TO LOSE WEIGHT

After college & University happened when I returned “fram tha US of Aay” every normal person said “Mash Allah sehat bohat achee hai!” Every socialite aunty I came across said “Ya Khuda Beta you really need to lose weight!” & unfortunately all the size zero chicks I tried to score with screamed “No way Don’t!... Free Willy” 

Glad you are smiling but bottom line, over a period of 18 years I never really had a problem with my weight, however everyone else did! “And you know who I mean!”  Every family occasion or gathering I had those aunties who wanted to avoid discussing the tribulations of their own families so they would try to sit with me and empathetically tell me about the benefits of losing weight!   The only way I could stop them from turning it into a full blown onslaught would be to question the details of their own kids divorces, addiction problems & homosexuality (in some cases)

However, today in many circles divorce is common almost a pre-requisite to be in a click, a coke is not a thanda at a ball and if you are a muff diving chick or a sausage swallowing lad you are the creative director, designer or some freak show that is politically correct somehow & somewhere! 

Anyway,  as society hammered me like mad they tried to put me in Shape by getting me a membership with a studly trainer, my family stopped cooking in oil, everything was baked, grilled or green!  I went from diet to diet, health club to health farm, dietician to doctor and at one point my family obsessed with that Anorexic Tart Mishi Khan marched me down to see a surgeon to have my stomach stapled but due to my disability and that concoction of drugs (Pharmaceutical Type) I take every surgeon bluntly refused.  Bottom line I couldn’t be fucked to lose weight and really did not care at all however everyone else kept pissing me off and I had perfected the art of deflection & avoidance!

My problems started when I developed a problem with my spine and the weight was something slowing me down and with my disability this was a problem.  However I figured out that now that I had limited mobility I wanted to be agile again and beat my problem so I went and visited a friend’s wife who was a dietician.  I was relieved because the advice she gave me was honest and helped me get started with a food / meal plan.  She told me three things that have stuck with me till today as they were honest. 
I realized that the last thing I wanted to do (because I physically couldn’t) was to be huffing and puffing on a treadmill like an 80 year old on Viagra.  I was going to make this fun! Over a period of 15 months I lost 18.7 Kilos doing these things & 10 inches on my waist and am still losing weight like mad!  I am sharing these with you and hope you will be able to use them too!

10. Drink at least 10 - 12 liters of water during a 24 hour period.
09. Have a good solid breakfast (anything really)
08. If you have to have lunch ensure it is 1/3 the quantity you would usually have.
07. Move around - (Example - Take the stairs instead of the elevator and get up and walk around your ffice frequently.) This will also give your eyes a rest from the computer screen.
06. Regulate your sleep cycle & ensure you get a minimum of 6 hours or so - (This is one that i failed to do miserably even today)
05. Dinner - Eat everything! Even Kunna / Paya and ghee walay parathay but eat about 85% of the amount you would regularly eat.
04. Start loving Fruit chaat Bhel Puri etc.
03. Stop spending hours with your laptop & Tv remote and start spending time with your family and kids OUTSIDE the house! - Take a break from work in a healthy way!
02. Eat your last meal 4 hours before you sleep!
01. Stop Drinking Alcohol
PLEASE NOTE!
  1. The above tricks were for “ME” and are all based upon common sense so if they don’t work for you then you might need to tweak them a bit! 
  2. Also to take into account I do NOT walk (exercise walk / jog) or pump iron etc. due to my disability yet the plan I came up with allows me to EAT EVERYTHING!
  3. I am not a dietician and have no medical degree so consult with a professional before you decide to take certain matters into your own hands!
Disclaimer! - The opinions I post are my own and I do not intend to hurt or offend you!  If you cannot allow me my freedom of thought then you have the right to voice an opinion and navigate away on the web.  If you follow my blog I thank you as it’s quite ridiculously entertaining...that is if you like what & how I write! If you need to contact me or wish to befriend me then please... 
If you would like a direct FREE consultation please contact me on - amyn@ghulamalis.com


 


Tuesday, November 19, 2013

HOW TO SELECT AN ADVERTISING AGENCY

HOW TO SELECT AN ADVERTISING AGENCY

I was looking for something to write on and as I am a salesman I realized that I absolutely “HATE & DETEST” one core vertical in the business world and that is “Advertising”.  My suggestion is to sack the lot of them and warn your security guards not to let them back in.  Also put in your spam filters to delete these two words “Advertising & Agency” if they are anywhere in the body or subject of any e-mail that touches the domain.  Finally if I could delete the day that some academic decided to include them in a college curriculum I would gladly do so that I may change history and rewrite it.  Kindly bear this in mind I am not referring to any business that is forced to inherit it’s agency due to regional or global restraints.

My reasons are as follows from what I have seen over 25 years as a salesman…  Advertising Agencies always come up with extremely expensive plagiarized, preconceived notions every month on how they can better business with cliché’s such as “brand appreciation” and “packaging it better”…  They always have been a creatively expensive solution to executing that one “Big idea” plagiarized off the web and TV whilst totally ignoring the core attributes of the business.  Bottom line at the end of the day a salesman like me has to convince himself that he can deliver the numbers to keep the lights and fans running whilst these guys keep adding to the COGS like mad.

Ok now realize this.  We are living in Pakistan and our International Brands are heavily localized to suit the Pakistani hypocritical pallet which will never accept any form of change that has NOT originated from the west or not endorsed by the Indian Silver screen.  We are slaves to foreign brand names and as of late that is why the knock off capital of the world Thailand is blossoming because of our business.  Also with the rising inflation and instability in the exchange rate any campaign is like a rouge nuclear warhead that today can make or break a Public listed company’s yearend closing!  However, this post is from a sales perspective how one should select an Advertising Agency and not to highlight even more the issues we are aware of already yet choose to ignore.  There are three main elements.

  1. MEDIA BUYING – To protect yourself as a business when selecting your agency ensure it is not a 360 solution where your releases are in the same hands that are responsible for the creativity.  Go to a buying house directly and get a better deal and save money directly from the source… More value in a collectively shared media buyout deal and a lot of extra candies. Bottom line… you do not need someone who is a GP to remove a brain tumor so ensure you give your business to a specialist and keep the core focus of the job as a primary.
Should you decide to give your media in the hands of an agency check its APNS ratings and analyze its payment, credit & banking history to the end recipients?  As a customer you have the rights to ask such questions after all you will be getting into a professional marriage and in every marriage background checks are thoroughly done.


  1. CREATIVE AGENCYTwo decades ago ever since these two words “entrepreneurship” & “democracy” became a war cry of the educated lot all off a sudden started spinoffs on assumed good will from many old legendary agencies and went on a personal crusade to do the job better.  These pirates broke people from the same institution where they trained and swore allegiance to with greed being extremely poorly funded and sadly destroyed the sanctity of the goodwill that the industry held. Out of the few hundred spinoffs only two to three agencies have withstood the test of inflation & time and still exist today.  Now that you understand the history let’s get to what to look for.
a.       Your creative agency MUST at all times need you as their first choice rather than your business want them as an only choice where your management is chasing them down for deliverable and they are only proactive when it comes to calling your finance department.
b.      The investors must have an active personal involvement in the management of the creative agency and must respect time at all costs as well.
c.       Whilst they creative agencies cannot predict the economic future they must have it in their SLA’s (Service Level Agreements) with you that if they choose to predict your brands future and you choose to accept spending or investing in their idea then a certain percentage or a number must be involved with every campaign where they always guarantee a return on your investment.
d.      Also when selecting a creative agency a key element is to ensure that the agency does not have a huge attrition rate as far as its own Human Resource goes.  Just imagine running a campaign conceived by one creative head, amended by another and tweaked by the third during a complete roll out over the second business quarter.
e.      Keeping the element of focus in mind to the job description as well as allowing a creative agency to earn negotiate where you as the business that are entrusting your company’s future to them will ask them to invest their ability to earn with you by
i.         taking a nominal retainer fee along with a fat royalty cheque for the idea that you will buy and also add a cherry to the pie with a bonus from the percentages in revenue that you will earn from the sales generated from your investment
ii.                   taking a 65% less than market rate standard retainer with yet again a percentage in revenue that you will earn from the sales generated from their campaigns
f.        Vendors and their payments are a big grey area when it comes to payments and businesses being held at gunpoint when “immediate” funds are required for Editing, BTL activations, Ooh campaigns or any other nonsensical excuse that the agency can find to flex its muscles.  Nobody likes any form of insecurity so why should you and then again pay for it not only in hard earned cash but also with the loss of respect because you are working to support your business and the agency is actually a solution and should never add to the problems.  In any relationship professional or personal if there are any discrepancies regarding money or respect then that relationship needs to be addressed at the source and often a divorce is the wisest choice to protect one’s self and the professional family.
So in short it is advised that since the agency has the ability to stay focused a business should also hunt down alternatives to curb on COGS and have a directory of multiple vendors as in independent production houses, animation studios & BTL activation companies and social media popups.  Since your finance department takes at least 5 quotes to get the best deal for your computer hardware & physical assets then you should apply the same law to these advertising value added services.  
g.       Agency contract should be for a maximum of 180 days or two business quarters so that as the economy changes or the business trends change you have the right to go for a new position change for your business and can always get fresh ideas and concepts.  This will keep your agency on its toes to work for the cheque and your contract with your agency must state penalties for not only you on defaulting on credit terms but dire financial consequences that will be borne by the agency in the case your business or its good will is affected due to their mistakes. If a woman can get 20 million US dollars because a cup of coffee singed her legs from Mc. Donald’s then it is only fair if you ask someone to guarantee their promise of quality service with a financial penalty should they defalt.

  1. MERIT BASED APPOINTMENT – I have been a salesman selling a vast diverse range of services and products for 25 years and in that time only three people who knew me or my family gave me business and actually did not take me for granted when it came time to pay me.  The rest were all professionals who paid me on time.  Imagine you import a certain service or product at a certain dollar rate of 96 rupees what is the point of getting your cheque after 18 months when the dollar is at 120 rupees?  Most people who do business with you will take you for granted and always play a personal card to get something better for them thus removing the transparency element in any agreement so when you choose an agency ensure that if you hire the agency through a reference that the entity that referred the agency is also financially liable for its misdemeanors.  In our country people will say what they have to get the deal they want to and then leave you hanging like a teenage boy at the mall waiting for the promised Cinderella.  If you can remove any and all forms of personal interaction with your agency and strictly forbid non official interactions between your employees and your vendors.  Would you go to have coffee at 11pm to butlers with your Maasi?  After all she is also a service provider!


Anyone who has read this post from the marketing & advertising world will absolutely detest me for bringing these key elements to light! The reason is because I have asked you to focus on two elements with your agency that any relationship is based upon.  1. Mutual Respect & 2. Honesty, sadly no relationship can exist because we cannot have one without the other.  Should you follow this there will always be transparency within your Marketing Department!  A few people might even resign, but I hope not!  

However if there is transparency where it begins I will be able to deliver the numbers much more easily from a sales perspective!

Let's be professional friends - (please see my reccomendations) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/amynaghulamali/

If you would like a direct FREE consultation please contact me on - amyn@ghulamalis.com

Saturday, November 16, 2013

HOW TO SELL NEWSPAPERS

HOW TO SELL NEWSPAPERS

Before I begin my class on selling something that is perceived extremely difficult to sell today let me tell you a short story followed by an analysis. 

Imagine its 630am you wake up, there is a smell of eggs being fried toast almost burnt on a stove and when you climbed up on the chair you got Fauji cornflakes and Milo milk in case you were not in the mod for eggs.  Your father was drinking his chai with the paper and as you got off the chair your mom told you to hug him good bye before you leftfor school.  As you reluctantly did what “mummy” said you got three distinct smells and they were in the following order the scent of your dad from his clothes, the welcoming aroma of the chai lingering on his smiling lips and then the crisp smell of the newspaper he enveloped you in or you crushed as you hugged him as though it would be the last time you saw him.  

This was a typical Pakistani family before it got corrupted by Technology and cellphones!  In those days the fattest newspaper came on Sundays with a hefty Jobs (Classified) section and forgetting the minority based publications DAWN & JANG were what you read.  In those day’s life was simple people had time and everything had a hint of innocence.  The moms were satisfied housewives (mostly) and the fathers that were employed never needed to feel insecure because their first job was their last job and they would probably leave the employer upon retirement.  The word “divorce” for any form of relationship was “never” an option and the kids would be home when the streetlights came on Tanhaiyyan being on PTV was more effective than an air raid siren to clear the roads.  And Qayyamat fell upon us kids when Parent teacher meeting days took place.  The choices were few if none but welcomed by all and there was a clarity towards our patriotic ideals and we actually believed that we would progress and land somewhere.  

Today everything has become too quick to handle and our culture has not evolved into something better because if you look at it form a comparison purpose you will observe that we have stopped focusing on quality and shave on everything and cut corners to try to get more time.  Sadly things have become incredibly horrible.  Today’s breakfast in any typical Pakistani family home goes a little something like this… 

There is utter chaos where there is no structure at all.  People living in close quarters are complete strangers and slaves to gadgets that wake them up and shock the life out of them by delivering all the gossip their best friends are saying on social media and the word home is replaced by “house that we sleep in” The entire family is centered around “money & not family values.  Both parents work and like clockwork switch jobs every 48 – 60 months (job trade) to meet the horrors of inflation because they are in ridiculous debt of some kind and live beyond their means. There are more child psychiatrists today that take ridiculous sums of money to do the jobs that parents who never wanted to be parents cannot do (not don’t want to do).

Qayyamat day falls upon teachers who dread the day they have to face the schools customers who pay the education business so well to educate their children and make them into robots.  Parents have stopped spending time with their kids and now spend less time with each other and husbands who actually care (the ones who married the girl of their dreams – love marriages) spend more time in family counselling sessions trying to find a way to communicate and not spend the next fifteen years running away from the same woman he convinced his entire tribe was his only choice who understood him and that he could talk to. 

So now you see if it aint bright and shiny then the monkeys will not play with it therefore Newspapers became toilet paper and the song “Video killed the Radio Star” really makes sense now.  BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Pakistan is perceived as a country that has more BADNEWS channels than its entertainment ones!  Believe it or not there is a vast majority of those who hate this fast paced economy and culture and actually enjoy the feeling of holding a newspaper & I am not talking about the old fogies.  When you read a newspaper there is a lot involved in the process and one gets a sense of structure.  Unlike the web where you finger twitches like a heroin addict to skip to the bottom in a newspaper you respect the authors, editors and those who put the efforts into bring you that valuable bit of information.

As everything is focused around money well a paper has to earn for its self and clear its bills so one needs advertising.  But forget all of that imagine we got regular printed newspapers that would give us specific genre based information and were focused on providing unbiased information rather than here say and opinions.  Imagine being able to give your eyes a break from that strain from glaring at the screen and never having to worry about your battery running out.  Oh yes also imagine you have a ready flyswatter should you decide to roll it up.  

Since people do not have time one needs to provide accurate concise information in a printed form regularly and increase the frequency to maybe dual issues a day.  Whilst the COGS will go up one needs to stay away from the word “Marketing” and only focus on two words “Customer Service” (this is where you outsource your super-efficient delivery methods to a multiple number of effective courier companies that will do the delivery work if you do not want to deal with the almost non-existent hawker mafia who have now turned to begging) and most of all use this same courier service company to manage your “Sales & Collections” to their existing clients.  Further to this one MUST consider that only 36.2% of Pakistan is actually connected (major cities) so one needs to focus these efforts on villages and townships where electricity being present is a reason to celebrate.

Selling a newspaper is NOT hard because in the 80’s we had kabaria’s coming to the house every two months or so who would pay our family money to take the entire old lot away that our parents did not line the cabinet & cupboard floors with.  Today electronic junk is piling up and it cannot be recycled so your best bet would be to go for thinner more comprehensive issues that hit the nail on the head and are more focused on analytical perspectives by honest journalists about surviving through this decade.  I am very sure people would like to read the Gambols & smirk over Calvin & Hobbes yet once again and a lot of people would like the fact that they can engage their minds with a crossword puzzle en-route to Lahore from Karachi.


One of the best things that technology has done for this entire business vertical is that it almost flushed mafia-ism from the industry.  Whilst new words have popped up like Reporters, Offline Editors & JCG’s and information delivery methods have become instant cobwebs now exist in the offices of journalists that had integrity. As a nation we are so efficient in adopting assumptions about things that do not matter we have lost the ability to respect journalistic integrity.  The last flame of integrity was extinguished when the "journalist" that we all got perceived as an "entertaining bitter lunatic" during election time (Mr. Ardeshir Cowasjee) was laid to rest in the “Tower of Silence” (It’s ironic I know!)  So if we want to bring back our culture we need to go back and strengthen the foundations of a free press and honest analytical journalism.

This Blog was not about “Selling News Papers” IT was about trying to make a last effort to back our souls from the Devils we created!

Let's be professional friends - (please see my reccomendations) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/amynaghulamali/

If you would like a direct FREE consultation please contact me on - amyn@ghulamalis.com

Sunday, October 13, 2013

SELLING HOURS

SELLING HOURS

Before you continue to read this I would like to state a few things which I would like to request you to keep in mind!
  1. I barely passed my O-Levels and do NOT have a college degree (had a party for four years in Florida) so this blog is based on common sense.
  2. As I don’t have a graduation the only thing I am fit to be hired as is a salesman – and oddly enough I REALLY love it!
  3. People run companies Brand names don’t

Ever since Pakistan became conveniently democratic what has happened is that licenses have been bought and sold like mad for any or every kind of a business available.  Today amongst some of those most lucrative business verticals is the Education vertical.  In the 1990’s so many colleges and so called universities popped up that it did three things.
  1. Gave the masses a cheaper option
  2. Broke the IBA & LUMS oligopoly for being the only respectable place to go to for a college education
  3. The focus on further education was not limited to BBA / B-Com, Accounting & Medicine only… New paths of enlightenment took the preferred choice amongst the most commonly loved and out of those the most commonly known today are IT, HR, and Arts & Humanities.

However, this blog / article is NOT on education it is about HR practices and why I being a salesman I am writing about HR when I have nothing to do in HR and am more so even not educated in HR.  Here are my reasons. In order to understand this you need to think as I do so here is a situation, read on…

Imagine you are a CEO of any Multinational in Pakistan.  You wake up, polish your shoes, iron and wear your Ralph Lauren Shirt and press your own Hugo Boss Suit. Come down make your own breakfast, then wash your dishes and go to your fancy office provided BMW 7 series with your 4 kids in the car and your office bag. On the way you get a flat tyre and then take off your coat and change it whilst answering all your calls on the cellphone in the 11am Karachi Sun and eventually after dropping your kids late to school you get to the office.

Once there you collect your mail from the reception power up your laptop and head to the pantry to make a cup of coffee only to return finding 20 unwanted people banging at your door for cheques.  So you stop doing it all after wondering where the security guard went and walk to finance, make the cheque find the stamp and eventually hand it over.  Now you have lunch so you go to the pantry warm up your home made sandwich and the first cup of coffee eat it quickly and then wash your plates and go back to your desk to discover another nightmare has occurred in the form of 10 more people who you really could not and did not want to deal with.  I will stop here…

The point I was trying to make here is that “PEOPLE RUN COMPANIES – NOT BRAND NAMES” so we need to understand and respect each and every member of our business.  It does not matter if we have a parchoon ki dukaan or we run a billion dollar MNC bank we need to understand that people are extremely important especially our very lower staff towards whom we are very unforgiving and consider to be cattle which we can throw away.  We need to respect everyone.

Now going back to Education – whilst the industry boomed and colleges printed degrees by the billions it made the workplace realize that there were cheaper options available and really messed up the job market.  More supply at a cheaper rate vs. the same demand and that too in an unstable and diminishing economy where the average working days in the year were only seventy to ninety (if we were lucky).  As an Islamic republic if you count every weekend (two days) and then all the Islamic Holidays and then add all the days that are unexpectedly counted as “Na Maloom Afraad Holidays” you will see that the numbers do add up to what I was saying… Take 2012 for example…

When someone who has had a (for example) manufacturing concern and has been running it for the past 3 decades with stability under these circumstances their priority is to sustain stability.  From my knowledge I do not know any old stable business that has decided to be so bold to try to take any new risks in the form of any investment where their guaranteed stable income would become insecure or they would not be able to sustain their professional families.  So when one looks at hiring the IBA & LUMS graduates are at a loss because nobody in Pakistan wants a fresh textbook smart graduate to walk in the door and tell them how to run their business that they have run beautifully for the past 30 years…  They simply cannot risk it.  Also now they have cheaper options that come from the likes of colleges who are willing to start in less than 20,000/- and that also includes mobile and fuel expenses.

When we work we sell our most precious commodity which is time… Some of us get for 15 minutes of our time (doctors) some monthly (most of us and some of us periodically – every three months (architects) But seeing that it takes people to run companies the HR field trying to fill that need has used everything possible to do just that in the form of pop up HR consultancies to web portals (technology) etc.  Today there are more HR companies in Karachi that promise some form of employment from the same pool of people. 

The HR industry has become a joke because if one looks at DAWN or the NEWS today on a Sunday the jobs classifieds is almost finished.  In the 90’s it was the most successful business unit for the Jang Group and Herald Publishing.  Most HR Consultants do not consider the fact that their clients entire business needs to be understood also everyone drops cliché’s like ‘we don’t search the web” or “we are head hunting specialists” In this field I know only one such lady that works independently but has the ability to understand the needs of any organization and not waste its time and oddly enough 90% of the times she delivers extremely good results.  This HR professional is brilliant because (this article is not about this one woman and please note that she HAS NEVER gotten me a job EVER) she has a track record for delivering the most sought after human resource in the country. 

In the past 3 years I have known her to have had a hand in making many people in top tier to lower masses take the plunge and leave an organization after 15 years of service because they invested intelligence and convinced them that where they would be in the future was very benefitting to not only the organization but also promised and ensured the human resource would not be a number or treated like a piece of meat once the cattle was slaughtered.  Since I have rambled on about “thIS one woman” I think I should tell you about one lady that I professionally & personally respect immensely Ms. Nasira Hoori.  Now enough about her let’s focus further on the topic.

Today the HR field (consultants) only looks at numbers (what they will get in the form of revenue) most of the consultants do not even realize that the wrong person hired can destroy and entire organization.  Two examples which I would like to present that have happened in front of me. The first is where I have seen an entire court case get thrown out of the window because the contract (Service Level Agreement) drafted by the law firm had a full stop where there should have been a comma.  This oversight cost the entire organization such a huge loss in Pakistan that the FBR almost broke them.  Bear in mind this is a multinational FMCG I am talking about.  The second is when a technology company hired a textbook smart developer as a cheap resource for its client that was a Telco.  This guy to prove he was asset wrote the code for an additional software to be added on to a SAP module and due to not having enough experience destroyed the entire financial history and archives of the client.

HR is a very sensitive field and today who we choose to help us support our endeavors to feed our professional families is extremely critical.  We need to consider our options very carefully and not give business in the form of jobs or contracts on references.  It is so advisable to try and maintain the current human resource as they are readily trainable and have a firm back ground.  The problem with hiring new people is that the 90 day period is ridiculous because it is a honeymoon where everyone is on their best behavior.  Time brings out the true colors in any relationship and once the insecurities are gone a new hire can actually have a free mind to be able to learn the culture of any organization.  So actually this new resource becomes productive after about 180 days of being hired. According to me I believe that any organization that takes away the HR powers from its CEO & Board of Directors and allows it the ability to function independently with any interference whatsoever is a place I would like to call home.

I have physically witnessed tons of organizations where I have been contracting to sell training on how to sell where one witnesses corporate feudalism.  I have been on sessions in SEA where I witnessed how Relationship Managers would serve their Branch Managers who would entertain their regional managers with special presents in Bangkok hoping to get a fantastic appraisal.  All of a sudden I realized that words like “Town Hall” & “retreats” were nothing other than a formal display where one say how someone who had a salary of 50,000 would spend (invest) in Johnny Walker, & Durex immensely.

When someone in Pakistan says that it is a man’s world ironically that is extremely true, because being The Islamic republic of Pakistan under Sharia Law if a woman were to be unfairly treated or a victim of a heinous crime she would require 4 witnesses who actually saw the act before she got justice.  (I am referring to before the word democracy became the war cry for any politician.) Today it’s all over social media and when the world has witnessed such an act and verified it she suffers immense humiliation and if she is lucky she actually might not get flogged for allowing it to happen.

Why did I go off on a tangent about women’s rights? Well it is very relevant.  I was working in an office where we had halls and being technology we only had developers or salesmen.  To sell technology is ridiculously difficult because it is not tangible and results show up much later after implementation.  When selling technology one needs clarity and peace and quiet to focus on what they have to convince someone to buy.  I was in sales and I did not have any peace and quiet because 85% of the developers & gamers I know were and still are hard core fundo’s who found technology to be the best form of an answer to a profession because it is halal and there is no sooth involved. Also most gamers are developers whilst all developers are gamers.  Now these chaps have ego’s because it is true without them the world would not function (technology world) and boy are they rude loud and noisy.  Basically a law unto themselves I was at logger heads with them and I had to build a team of people for sales.  I sat and thought and in the stack of CV’s eliminated each and every male no matter how competent they were.  I hired four girls who were professional and had a grip on our religion.  Within minutes of the announcement of the news of their hiring there was complete silence.  Each and every developer the next day was smelling nice had combed his hair and also the beard. There was silence in the entire hall and people actually started being extremely polite and courteous.  It was a strategic gamble I took and as I had hired them as support staff I hit way over my numbers that I had committed immensely.  After that day my contractual employer who is my client today never questioned my ability of not having a degree. (These ladies working for me were convinced by a trusted friend to join the organization who was in the HR field – Today I am happy to say that each and every one of my direct reports are heading their own business units in the technology field)


I have gone on long enough in my ramblings but I would like to end with the statement that any organization should outsource recruiting / hiring or whatever you call it to a professional who has the ability to understand your needs as well as your business as a whole.  Today you need a trusted confidant who can externally give you an objective look at how to restructure your most precious asset which is “people” and will respect your time.  Today it is extremely hard to find a HR consultant who is a part of the solution and will not add to the problems you already have by eating away your most precious commodity which is time.

Let's be professional friends - (please see my reccomendations) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/amynaghulamali/

If you would like a direct FREE consultation please contact me on - amyn@ghulamalis.com

Friday, March 1, 2013

EXPECTING DISAPPOINTMENT


EXPECTING DISAPPOINTMENT

I for once in my life had a complete brain fart where I could not think of a topic to write on as I knew that whatever came to mind would have something to do with politics or religion and just turn into a bitch and moan session. (Something which we have all had enough of!)  I asked for help on deciding a topic to all my friends on social media and everyone either came up with something to do with what I wanted to avoid.  As the flurry of messages came in I got the theme for my next blog / article.

We human beings are idiots!  We get two to three mobile phones, we have several email addresses, we post our best and worst moments on social media, we talk too much and always have an opinion on anything and most of all are quick to judge.  If the same is done to us we instantly tweet, blog or complain and do our best to get social sympathy to curtail the damage we fear will happen to our perfect images. Bottom line is that we are all hypocrites as we expect too much constantly. 

When we are born, as kids our parents expect us to become or be something that we do not want to be.  All babies are cute and I know for a fact that even the most macho of guys out there has a picture of him or wearing a dress or giggling in his birthday suit in a wash tub.  If these cute moments captured by parents somehow found their way onto the internet I wonder how that would look to someone perceived as really cool.  As adolescents the expectation bar is raised higher and we somehow or the other have to try to live out the fantasies of not only our parents and families but also of the social cannibalistic wolf pack that we call friends.  These who we depend so much on in reality are just a bunch of vultures waiting to shift the balance of power and get something psychological or emotional over us to claim the thrones so rightfully ours.

As you go into college the world looks different to you and the “rebel without a clue” syndrome screams at the world stating our individuality (basically a farce because in reality like sheep we establish ourselves in some food group or the other hoping not to get devoured by the one above us in the food chain).   The right songs the right relationships, clothes and places to hangout and definitely the right display picture on social media are our top priorities.  We are not talking about cost we are talking about our image here.

After college if you are lucky to get a job in a MNC then you have really had it.  Welcome to the world of sharks where kinky sex is the agenda and your personality either adopts the form of a leather clad dominatrix, or you wind up wearing an emotional diaper for the next few years as the company’s whipping post.  For sure you will have to start out by putting out for your boss who in turn puts out for his or her boss who in turn puts out for the CEO who in turn takes it with KY jelly (a simple luxury) from the board of directors who take it in turn… you get my point.  It’s a vicious circle actually a double infinity that will never cease to exist.

When you are about to get married you need to satisfy the egos of all those who must have a say in who you will spend the night having sex with “legally” for the first time in your life.  Once, you get married somehow, reality puts a crowbar into the twenty year plan and shortly after the honeymoon you spend more time running away from the person who you so craved to spend every moment of your life with in “eternal wedded happiness”.  Also complaining about the problems of a married life to all those who you need sympathy from makes you feel like you are slowly climbing back on social mount Everest again.

As kids come along somehow you seem to be caught in a whirlwind of feeling trapped and confined, just like a prisoner who’s been re-sentenced and just gotten an entire life time of remand from the ugliest homosexual SHO of your local thaana.  All you can think of is costs and numbers and somehow like a stoner sit and keep wondering with the rising inflation and your never increasing income will you wind up saving anything at all or will this revenge named democracy leave you and the fifteen generations after you in debt.  Oddly enough you seem to think that if slavery ended with the civil war then why are my masters wearing suits and ties… 

I have only been talking about guys so far, just multiply the pain factor by infinity if you have the luck of being born as a female.  Not only do you get treated unfairly, but every month your body after puberty plays havoc with you and eventually you are gifted with the labor pains (emotionally, mentally and psychologically) that you were warned about from the day you were born.  Living in this male dominated world you never get a chance to rest until you take your last breath because every nano-second of your life is spent playing defense with fate.  No matter what I say will not justify what a woman goes through on earth.  At every moment she is simply judged and as a daughter, sister and then mother she has a thankless job. 

Now I have rambled on but would like to tell you that the main essence of the entire lecture was to make you realize that society expects too much from us and we only perceive that.  Don’t say im an idiot because at least once in your day if not more you do something just because you feel others will appreciate it socially.  We in turn will do the same to them.  There are way too many expectations from us and in turn we keep expecting too much from people.  When we hire someone we tell them to work their way to the top.  We force them to behave like idiots as we have had the same done to us.  I have not seen one company where you start with a 100 marks in the beginning.  After three months if you wind up with fifteen points then it was because it was your own fault.  No one is given the benefit of the doubt.

Yet like idiots we keep re-electing the same bunch of clowns either because of a last name or because we are too scared to find someone else so we settle for what we feel will be the lesser of two evils.  People do not realize that they have an immense amount of power to be individuals and stake their claim on what they believe in.  If only we would stop expecting so much from people and trying to satisfy those who expect the world from us then everyone would not be so bitterly disappointed. 

I wrote this article / blog because I wanted to start a thought process with you if you felt deep down inside the same that I felt.  When an airplane is going down they instant throw oxygen masks at you telling you to put one on yourself and then on your companion.  Do you know the reason?  Yes we all should be a little selfish and focus on our own needs before following every person or politician that leads us on like a goat.  There is so much beauty in individuality and so much ugliness in cliché’s…

Let's be professional friends - (please see my reccomendations) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/amynaghulamali/

If you would like a direct FREE consultation please contact me on - amyn@ghulamalis.com