Wednesday, January 7, 2015



I recently got employed and one of the perks of the job is extensive travel.  When one travels there are many things on your mind and a lot of baggage that you tend to leave behind in your native country so that you can get some form of relief and carry only the weight of the agendas within that journey alone so that you whilst being on a time bound and financial budget achieve the most out of the Journey!

In my journeys I have visited a lot of countries and as people love to do strange things like take selfies in front of famous monuments or with distant relatives I for the other like to observe our own countrymen. 

This past New Year I spent in Dubai and I arrived there on the 28th of December 2014 (for work).  What I realized during this whole journey is that we have a nation DO have the ability to get along and Pathan, Mohajir, Sindhi as well as Shia & Sunni DO have the ability to get along with not only each other but Christians , Parsi’s, Jews or even atheists as well everywhere in the world but we CHOOSE to make a nuisance of our selves when we are in our own country and NO ONE is to blame other than ourselves for allowing Pakistan to be come the cesspool of problems that it is now. My example below will define what I mean.

As you get to Jinnah Terminal you come across every politically correct aunty and her posse of relatives who have some “contact” through their husbands to be treated like a VIP so they bully the life out of you and all the people making unfair demands that would be heard nowhere in any country that implements common sense laws. Then these Freebie seeking fatsos with 20 overweight bags waddle into the waiting areas and sit down and the poor protocol guy in a suit winds up becoming a waiter and a bus boy and if not least a foot masseur. 
As your flight is called for these bitches and their puppies struggle to the first on the plane (as though some Bedouin on a camel is waiting for them at the door of the Boeing in first class) Only when you get onboard do you realize that this bunch of freak shows are actually in economy (as their husbands pulled a  fast one on them to get rid of them in reality) and really upset that their noses are in the armpits of the not so cool memon and pathan khepias that are trying to get their luggae into the over head compartment. 
Finally the plane taxis to the runway and the moment its wheels leave the ground a brutal reality hits you that their Tasbih’s have vanished and out come the Ipods and demands for white wine and budweiser.  There is a buzz in the air and all you can do is immerse your self in the excitement that is to be Dubai!

The plane lands and EVERYONE IS SEATED like school kids! NO ONE RUNS FOR THE DOOR!  You realize that the most vicious, foul mouthed, politicians, VIP treatment loving, ankle biting Chihuahua bitch wife is now a timid meek polite Persian “pussy” cat!  This transformation from a kuttee to a cutie is adoreable because as these overweight freak shows need golf carts to get them from the plane to gate they realize that the Khepias they could push aside in Karachi are used to this walk and already at the immigration desk.  Hysterically these hypocritical tarts are the last to clear immigration.

As they approach the immigration desk they think they look sexy with their Nabilas highlights & Depilex waxing sadly not realizing that the immigration officer is NOT smiling rather squinting to see their true faces from behind the armored walls of fair and lovely foundation. 
What I find even more amusing is the fact that they try to haggle the fixed rates with a machine for a porter as they cannot lift their own bags as they have never done manual labor in their lives. Eventually whilst waiting for a cab, bus or metro they will quickly update their damn status with a selfie announcing their arrival in Dubai and loudly call back home (hubbie is paying for roamin) announcing their friggin schedule and ask questions about the well being of everybody whom they were glad to leave 90 minutes ago including their doodh wala is.

In Dubai they will OBEY ALL THE RULES – STAND IN LINE – BEHAVE and NEVER do anything wrong or dis respectful.  Pakistanis tend to be the most accommodating wonderful people abroad and are the most loving caring and friendly people when you meet them in another country.  Either we desi’s are a narcissistic Bi-Polar lot of fucktards or we have severe personality disorders because on your way back home what you will see is this happen.

As you come to the Emirates counter all your aunties will politely go through immigration and check in.  The minute they hit Duty Free they go stark raving mad and head for any deal they would have missed out at the Duabi shopping festival.  Then huffing and puffing after having bought shit they don’t need they will wind up at the gate exhausted and confused how to handle all this crap. 

Now they call back home and terrorize their relatives to send extra cars and guards and that “proper protocol” must be there because these queens need an audience.  You then sense that the cutee is becoming a kuttee again and when on the flight after two wines to say good by to the Emirates they pull out a tasbih and start saying Astagfirila a million times when the Khepia next to them farts.

As you are landing in Karachi you feel the tension rise.  It’s a bloody nightmare and everyone’s breathing increases.  The plane touches down and is barely off the runway and all off a sudden the entire plane is standing.  Your flight crew is hiding in the galleys and terrified because our sorry lot of vagabonds once back home become the most disrespectful bunch of Pirates who would trample over any Daadi Naani or bacha to get off the plane.

As the doors open – people race to get to the immigration desks and this is when the politically correct cutees turned kuttees smile at you as the same protocol guy becomes effective to get them to the luggage claim area.  The funny this is that so many people are VIP’s that eventually the immigration just looks at them gives them their twenty seconds of fame and gets rid of them.

As they are waiting in the luggage line all they do is bitch and moan and groan on their cell phones about how expensive Dubai was whilst holding onto two thousand dollars worth of Dubai duty free shopping and their kids fart around on iphone 6+’s wearing branded clothes with the tags still attached.  Meanwhilst the protocol guys are loading their gazillion suitcases with everything that does not make sense in the for of shopping.

As you exit the airport these trolls manage to ALWAYS find some poodle or socialite they know and hold up the entire traffic flow talking about their trip in Dubai whilst passengers like me are exhausted and waiting for a car to load theie luggage in.   The cops are terrified because their hired goons don’t give them respect and eventually the airport breathes a sigh of relief when they leave without paying the parking toll.

We have a choice to behave as this is our land and we CHOOSE to disrespect it!  The country Pakistan is great our religion preaches humility and honesty BUT what we have done to it is horrible!  More over this VIP culture has destroyed the foundations of what Jinnah envisioned as a Muslim nation. 

Only you can fix it by changing your thinking!

Amyn's list of 2015’s Biggest Ironies in Pakistan 

10. Pakistanis are very shy yet the population is 18 crore+
09. Pakistanis are divided by Politicians BUT Terrorists Unite the Nation
08. ALL Pakistanis are “busy” or in a “Hurry” a hurry, but no one reaches or does anything on time
07. In Pakistan It’s dangerous to talk to strangers and very frowned upon if the stranger if from the opposite sex, but it's perfectly ok to marry one
06.According to the TV Dramas and society we would rather spend more on daughters wedding than on her education
05. Pakistanis are obsessed with screen guards on their smartphones even though most come with scratch proof Gorilla Glass but never bother wearing a helmet while riding their bikes
04. Pakistan is a country where seeing a policeman makes us nervous rather than feeling safe
03. Pakistanis are very concerned that “everyone else” should dress appropriately so that they can go to jannat, but wont bother stop gossiping ,lying and judging so we ourselves can make our own way there.
02. In Pakistan the size of your manhood is defined by the # of armed goons that you have hired to follow you around
01. IN Pakistan the size of our generosity is defined not by the size of our wallets rather the size of the catastrophe at hand
00. When push comes to shove democratically you can always rely upon our ARMY to bail you out!


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SPECIAL NOTE / DISCLAIMER! This is an independent blog post not intended to endorse or be against any private, public or social organization, political or religious faction or any living person!  This post has been written to enable you to engage your mind with a free school of thought whom you the reader have and make your own independent choices by yourself!  Further to this please read my disclaimer at the bottom of EVERY blog post (in the past as well) before you go off getting offended! 

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