Saturday, May 31, 2014


DISCLAIMER! – I do NOT work for Telenor, I am NOT a paid employee of the said company & in NO way am I getting any form of benefit (financially or otherwise) from this Blog Post!  I have written this because it actually is the truth and common sense explained in simple terms to the average NOT so tech savvy Pakistani Munda!   

Do you get REAL 3G Services in Pakistan?  NO!  See that answer was simple BUT here are the reasons why?

In Pakistan the Telco Industry is a volatile sea of frustration.  It relies upon many factors to give you seamless point to point communications and every cellular and data provider is so capable BUT the fact of the matter is that the socio economic and political conditions are NOT conducive at all for them to make a buck!

One might feel that the Telco’s are bad boys who bully the government and the media with what hammering they do and the billions they splash everywhere but the sad reality is that each and every Telco today is struggling to get a consistent ROI and is sadly not able to pay its bills even at times due to the situations that present themselves to these giants who have invested here in Pakistan!

We all jumped and tooted horns when 3G was launched!  Oddly enough (this is actually true) one of my close friends from the Tech world had a child the day this was launched!  Guess what?  That day he only posted Screenshots from his iPhone rather than pictures of the Baby on Facebook!  

Now if you all have settled down and are used to 3G you can never bear the slow speed again of edge because as a passive cellular speed junkie the frustration value would kill you to have to wait 10 minutes to download and e-mail and you would curse the day you said bye bye to your cloud or wingle!

3G services in Pakistan are NOT actual 3G services!  There are many reasons for this BUT one of the main reasons is that there are so many dead spots in the country that it’s NOT funny!  Being liberal is very politically correct but our government is anything but that and has not allowed cellular connections in many areas of the country!

The Telco’s have been held for so long at gunpoint that ONLY one of them decided to chance it and took a risk and invested in the country even further when 3G was only and idea and over two years ago started a planned gradual upgrade of all its systems to be compliant for an indefinite launch…  over this time it also slowly through higher rates on Value Added Services lost a lot of corporate business and focused on Prepaid margins to try to recover their investment cost so that when launched they would be very competitive on every front specially pricing!  

This Brave Service Provider was Telenor!  Yes I am a subscriber to the company for many years and have my own issues with them but the truth of the matter is that today the data bundle deals offered by Telenor are probably the best value for money!

Every other cell provider can never fall short so it is a given that ALL of them are claiming 3G services with all kinds of exciting gimmicks BUT the fact of the matter is that to get an entire country 3G compliant takes time and Telenor foresaw that and is today the ONLY Telco that can deliver 83% (my own approximate) 3G coverage through the country (if you include small towns and NOT only the three metropolis’s)   Most of the other Telco’s are in a huge fix because now that they are all in a race to compete with everyone they are buying up technical staff and equipment like nothing!

Another thing to look at is that due to their core infrastructure already being upgraded their data streaming is well tested and burstable to handle large volumes of traffic at par!  Another smart that Telenor made was to go for a 3G and NOT a 4G license because since they now do not have to pay back that exorbitant amount they have the funds to be able to maintain the network they have!

For the end user one should go back to the days when ISP’s opened up and everyone was wowed by the 9600bps connection speed!  Along came democracy and when the whole world focused on quantity NOT quality a new job description was added to the ISP organogram “Tech Support”.   Today people are getting comfortable with the freedom allowed to them with Face Time and Skype whilst on the move!  There are lags and dead patches but at the end of the day Telenor’s network seems to have the least of them all!

When you consider your mobile data plan you not only need to look at the cheapest rate out there… you should consider the fact that who has the strongest hardware and the best experience to deliver what they promise!  When it comes to cellular or mobile data it is best to pay a slightly higher rate which comes out cheaper in the long run when you consider what you might have to lose in case it fails you!

Pakistan is a country where the awaam falls for immediate package bundle quick deals and forgets to focus on the bigger picture!  This post was not written for the awaam it was written for you the "Metrosexual User" who loves to take a bigger bit out of his or her Apple and maybe enjoy connectivity on a different Galaxy!

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Thursday, May 29, 2014



I am a sales guy so I hate marketing departments!  Personally I feel anyone who is in Marketing should be FIRED!  That entire vertical needs to be scrapped off the business organogram! Why?  Because these overweight, keyboard junkies have no intelligence other than “Text book experience” and hardly work for their paychecks!  The few brand name Marketing ****heads out there have actually done NOTHING!  They graduated from a brand name college and rode on the good will of foreign brands and before they even reached professional puberty they became the biggest corporate bullies who made everyone a Mamoo! If one were to as any of these guys to do a market visit I assure you they would only go where there was guaranteed air-conditioning and some schmuck who they could impress flashing the company visiting card! 

Oh yes the “Marketing” guys have ego’s and get compensated by the vendors in ways un-imaginable because Marketing is one vertical where everything is on here say and so many variables that transparency is non existent!  These chaps loooove to go for product shoots on international trips however and abuse the seats they sit on and sadly that is an industry norm!  

Today none of these brand name fools have the ability to deliver ANY marketing strategy where they can put their paycheck on the line for the strategy presented by them where it depicts that creating the market from that particular strategic market pull does not rely upon the ALREADY EXISTING PULL by the existing brand / company name’s goodwill where a certain ROI is guaranteed for that strategy!  The one and only time I ever saw that happen was in the Board room of Unilever where Ms. Musharraf Hai really made Surf Excel and then we all know what happened next!  For all you IBA & LUM’s graduates this should be a text book case that you NEED to study!

All the sales guys like me work hard and HAVE to deliver what these highly compensated idiots who do nothing (but ride on the work of interns and fresh meat) blurt out in a BORED room!  What they blab is what we have to deliver!  Finance departments can verify this! 

I tried to be a “Marketing guy” I applied at many companies and got rejected!  Why because I only had an o-levels which I barely passed (yup still the same today… No college degree!)   Every company I approached nationwide rejected me.  So I had to feed myself and became a sales guy!  For years the business world used me as toilet paper!  BUT I always delivered!  At that time I was desperate for a job to fit in…  ANY JOB eventually I became numb and stopped trying to fit in and became happy! 

Now the funny thing is I am in DEMAND because over 72 hours ago & till 5 minutes ago out of all those companies I applied to that rejected me for entry level positions 5 of them have offered me three letter C _ _ strategy positions leading their own core teams because “I can make a difference” (from what the last CEO said) with unheard of benefits.  I declined politely for the same reason they gave me over the years…  I don’t have a college degree so it will be a violation of SECP rules and regulations!

One should always humbly remember…  That ONE is always in DEMAND to one’s own self-respect and integrity and before you try living in a world of success try understanding failure!  Please do see this video - U might just agree with me!  

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Tuesday, May 27, 2014


(Spiritual thoughts on living up to my name!)
The name “Amyn” means “amanat rakhnay wala” (a person who will never fail you on the trust you bestow upon him).  This name has been the heaviest thing in my life because to live up to it I have literally done unspeakable things and paid the price in unimaginable ways living up to it or if I ever failed to live up to it!

Today is Shab e Mairaj! Today is also the most special day for me & I will explain to you why after you read what I have quoted from the Holy Quran!

“Exalted is He who took His Servant by night from al-Masjid al-Haram to al-Masjid al-Aqsa, whose surroundings We have blessed, to show him of Our signs. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Seeing.”  —Quran, Chapter 17 (Al-Isra) verse 1[2]
“And [remember, O Muhammad], when We told you, "Indeed, your Lord has encompassed the people." And We did not make the sight which We showed you except as a trial for the people, as was the accursed tree [mentioned] in the Qur'an. And We threaten them, but it increases them not except in great transgression.”  —Quran, Chapter 17 (Al-Isra) verse 60[5]
“And he certainly saw him in another descent,
At the Lote-tree of the Utmost Boundary –
Near it is the Garden of Refuge –
When there covered the Lote Tree that which covered [it]
The sight [of the Prophet] did not swerve, nor did it transgress [its limit].
He certainly saw of the greatest signs of his Lord.” 
—Quran, Chapter 53 (An-Najm), verses 13–18[4]
The Isra and Mi'raj (Arabic:  al-’Isrā’ wal-Mi‘rāj), are the two parts of a Night Journey or Shob-e-Miraz that, according to Islamic tradition, the prophet of IslamMuhammad (P.B.U.H) took during a single night around the year 621. It has been described as both a physical and spiritual journey.[1] A brief sketch of the story is in sura 17 Al-Isra of the Quran,[2] and other details come from the Hadith, supplemental writings about the life of Muhammad (P.B.U.H). In the journey, Muhammad  (P.B.U.H) travels on the steed Buraq to "the farthest mosque" where he leads other prophets in prayer. He then ascends to heaven where he speaks to God, who gives Muhammad (P.B.U.H) instructions to take back to the faithful regarding the details of prayer.

Allah has tested us in many ways!  My test is that (it is never ending for me) I have a name that was blessed upon me without my knowing to which I have to live up to!  These past forty years of my life from the minute I entered this world and started waiting to die I have failed living up to my name many times!  However my test has also been the following over the past 30 days!  It started when my father in law was hospitalized, a few days later my son shattered his elbow! On the same day my mother in law wound up with a fractured ankle, two clients left town for their summer holidays to the United States and forgot to pay me for something worth 22 lacs collectively!  5 times my riders got robbed and beaten to a pulp, after a routine police checking I lost a huge sum of cash and stock, my containers were opened and 21 macbook pros (top of the line) went missing, some people close to me accused me of fraud and somehow I managed to get their banking problems resolved for them.

What I went through was a test of faith where I was financially, emotionally and psychologically ruined and desperate! If I wanted I could have mis used my trust factor and gotten away with so much but I knew I would fall in my own eyes and the eyes of a few people I loved so dearly for trusting me so I kept thanking the almighty that at least he had left me with life and the ability to try harder another day!  

Ironically today I had a spiritual realization that signifies everything!  Like our Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) reached a higher plateau I myself got proof that Allah does exist!  I am still the same man that I have been for forty years only today I hold in my possession wealth in the form of 3 (three) elements that you cannot even begin to evaluate the value of!  I will try to describe it to you… let’s see if you get what I mean!  RESPECT / TRUST / UNCONDITIONAL LOVE -  All three things hit me in so many ways over the past 24 hours that it has humbled me today to a point where I am telling God that I am not worthy as I only have so much more to live up to being AMYN!

My Buraq has been my faith in something I could not feel and I never turned away from the path I had chosen because I stuck to my principles and as arrogance is habitual with me I arrogantly kept believing in Allah & his Messenger (P.B.U.H).  For those of you have followed me on social media let me throw a twist at you as I end my ramblings…

It all began with Adam & Eve where an Apple was the temptation as ironically it is with me they got banished from Heaven whilst my Apple already having had a bite taken out of it has opened the Pearly gates for me!  If you ever lose your faith in Allah…  Don’t!  It is only a test! When it ends you will know!  Don’t lose yourself as that might be a test too.  Be more humbled and live up to whatever your name is as it defines you!  When the Aga Khan gave my name to my parents it was the best and the worst thing he could have done to me!

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Monday, May 26, 2014


Us Pakistanis whether you like it or not have always had a fetish for something or the other across the border!  If it was not a Bachan or a Khan then it had to be our love for the hate we want to feel that will take us back to the feelings between the two nation’s months before 14th August 1947 as we send off our soldiers on to the battle field all padded up to play 50 overs!  We stop our lives and froth at the mouth as our knights get slayed by a little red ball and we swell with pride when the eleven sons of our soil smash any attack over the boundary we hold so dear! However no matter what happens once the last man has run out and the crowd either side goes wild we know we sadly have to resume our dull lives as the game is over!
The Indian media has heavily affected us in many ways!  The subliminal propaganda has inspired our women to cross boundaries never like before and explore the possibility of freedom and our youth the courage to find identities in something close to home! 
In the past two weeks I somehow wound up watching two movies Mein Tera Hero Hoon & Heropanti!  If one is to define the cinematic experience one knows that us South Asians live for drama so both the films delivered what Bollywood always promises!  Here are a few observation on the entire trend that is now an uncomfortable reality for the likes of Karan Johar and any other brand name actor or actress out there who is a geriatric!  By the way any actor who was in a film over 12 months ago and has been in the industry for over Five years is a geriatric!
One realizes that when you watch a Hindi flick today there are a few things one should find normal!  Such as the fact that the Hero will have a six pack and chiseled body that will shine more than a model on a catwalk and that his chest wax job would be more expensive than the opposing female lead role!  
Oh yes since we are talking bodies then it is to be taken for normal that the male leads pectorals will be  more rounded formed and firmer than the chick he will slobber all over in the gratuitous trying to be a virgin like first kiss scene! 
The rest of the legends have found themselves space in Madame Tussads in London and are trying to retire gracefully with roles that befit their age or whatever bone the producers throw at them in the form of a side role offer! 

The internet, mobile and cable TV revolution has created a demand for new faces all the time and is forcing the kings and queens of the Silver Screen to abdicate their thrones and take up an office in the likes of sit coms and other TV productions!   Where this is going one does not know BUT the Indian film industry which is the largest as far as investment goes is now heavily commercialized with product placements and more money than the economy of the richest man on earth! 
The game has changed and the induction of new blood is a welcome site for sore eyes that got tired of seeing what Bollywood vomited out as stereotypical type caste movies!  I mean an Akshay Kumar film was always a given that there would be nonsensical melodramatic action comedy, where by a Shahrukh cinematic experience was explosive with Shahrukh presenting himself as the cunning good guy who has that uncomfortable side of evil to it!
Last but not least an Amir Khan film was and is a surprise because he always does one or two movies that have a sense of finesse to them with some kind of public service message!  Oh yes Salman khan is struggling to hold onto his rebuffed and cosmetically enhanced Good guy who gets beaten up and then kicks butt image!
This spillover has forced our own conservative clergy to think about upping their game and the Pakistani censor board is now guffawing and looking the other way where at one time they would scream blasphemy on our local productions if an actor hugged an actress in a father and daughter scene in any Pakistani Production!
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Disclaimer! - The opinions I post are my own and I do not intend to hurt or offend you!  If you cannot allow me my freedom of thought then you have the right to voice an opinion and navigate away on the web.  If you follow my blog I thank you as it’s quite ridiculously entertaining...that is if you like what & how I write!