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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

 GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!
A friend and a follower of my blog suggested the Title! (Oddly enough it is very befitting the present situation)

If you are a Karachiite then other than your given name and surname as a city you are also known to the west as “toilet paper / home for terrorists / lota’s” and anything despicable that the dictionary has to throw at you!   Other than getting your mobile snatched this is what happens to you!  You wake up and think you are about to have a normal day!  You get to your workspace and all of a sudden the British press farts!

Within the course of twenty minutes the smell of something rotten has travelled to Karachi by 12pm via whatsapp, viber and anything quicker than that aunty who you live next to who loves to gossip and every Pulitzer prize winning wannabe tramp on the local news channels is blurting out in that “wanna pee mode outside a ladies bathroom” that Qayamat Aa Chuki Hai!” 

So now having been 30 minutes every shopkeeper is making a killing by selling everything at a jacked rate from under the half closed shutters, and the CD 70’s are racing down trying to beat the 125’s to the petrol pumps before they put up their shamiyana’s!  Within minutes the roads are blocked and there is panic that the end is nigh!  To add to it Pakistans main wall street has crashed yet once again because all the traders choked on their gutka and tried to wash it down with the sweat from their brows!  Mothers are terrified but thanking God that the kids are home, the yuppies abroad on their holidays have disowned the country and are contemplating political asylum where ever they are and everyone is saying “This is December 27 all over again?”  (Pakistan’s 9eleven) 
 
Mean whilst in Great Britain those Desi boys who love Pakistan so much are planning to take over England and are gathered in Mosques to try an organize what they feel is another Bastilles Day!   The immigrant old men and women are sitting at the pubs enjoying their black pudding over a pint of bitters and discussing the future of Pakistan!   Another reality is that the queen has woken up, had her Kellogg’s, hugged her heirs and is out walking the corgi’s so that they can poop in the lawn (because its bio degradable) & that the Prime Minister is sitting on the John holding his head why he has had to inherit the problems of what the Iron Lady created! 
 
Frankly shutting down the city of Karachi is the most ridiculous thing to do.  We as a nation have the most holidays yet (see for your self)

OCCASION
DAYS
WEEKENDS
02 X 52 = 108
IF YOU RELY UPON THE MIDDLE EAST
+01 X 52 = 52
RAMADHAN
30
EID UL FITR
05
MUHARRAM
10
EID UL ADHA
05
NATIONAL HOLIDAYS (NATIONAL)
12
CHRISTMAS, EASTER & NEW YEARS
06
TOTAL NON WORKING DAYS
226
WORKING DAYS LEFT
139
THIS NUMBER DOES NOT INCLUDE STRIKE DAYS, DHARNAS AND ALL THER NONSENSE AT ALL

It is totally unfair how people are so insecure that they close down businesses! How does a guy like me survive when I have to pay a FULL 30 days salary, 30 days on all my utilities, extra security for my premises and transportation for my staff to reach home, pay for all the 30 days worth of food not to mention the taxes we are obliged to pay along with the ones we are FORCED to pay when I can only earn a living for less than a quarter of the year! 
 
When the people say that Pakistan is running on prayers I am sure that it is true because frankly there is no point in shutting down peoples ability to earn a living because at the end of the day they have to feed you!   If you work in an office you may not feel it but what about that man who wanted to do manual labor to earn for his family for a day?  What about those children who will eat promises for food the next day and digest tears of starvation?  What about those who died in Ambulances because the roads were blocked as they did have a fighting chance?  What about those promises that the administration made to keep things going? 

Five years ago we had a situation controlled by switching off the lights and cellphones!  Why was that not done immediately to control panic!   Why is the media conveniently silenced when it is convenient yet used as a weapon of mass chaos?  Why do we question the fact that college kids graduate and cannot find jobs so they HAVE to loot and pillage to make a buck?  Why does this country believe in Shariah Laws yet question the justice of Allah?  

Lastly, when people run to an immigration consultant for the UK why do we question them?  We should say “God save the Queen! & her little pooping corgy’s!”

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Disclaimer! - The opinions I post are my own and I do not intend to hurt or offend you!  If you cannot allow me my freedom of thought then you have the right to voice an opinion and navigate away on the web.  If you follow my blog I thank you as it’s quite ridiculously entertaining...that is if you like what & how I write!

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