Monday, May 12, 2014


It was 1984 I was in London in South Kensington and met up with one of my dad’s friends when he picked us up to go to his house for the day.  He had a Mercedes Benz 450 SEL and on the way to his home a phone started ringing!  He picked up a clunky handset and we were all amazed that he had a phone in his car!  Today even the doodh wala not only has a phone by 3 Jee as well!
Everyone has been raving and ranting about the speed they are getting and even me for a second I myself boasted that I had it on my Telenor connection before anyone else!   But as we all know things get very old very soon because somehow all the meme’s and speed test screenshots stopped being posted on social media and the world went somewhat back to normal!  As I am an importer of mobiles, an asterisk coder, and work closely with Telco’s oh yes forgot to mention Daddy was also the past Chairman for Alcatel I would like to present you with certain problems that Pakistan has been facing ever since 3 Jee popped up into our lives!
BATTERY ISSUES – Ok imagine you have a Suzuki Alto with a roof rack!  You slap on 4 suit cases on the top load it with four chubby aunties on their way to Houston put on the ac and start driving trying to attain top speed in 3rd gear to the airport.  What will happen?  Your car will not give you efficient fuel average.  Likewise with 3 Jee when you activate all your services like social media and run many utilities that are plugged into the web your phone is in constant hyper drive!  Because it is constantly multi-tasking your battery is running out!  If you think keeping it plugged into the charger will help…. NO WAY?  Your phone must be getting quite warm because your chargers are struggling to meet the heavy drain on the battery!  
At some of the shops of the retailers I supply to they tell me that they charge a 1000 rupees and keep the phone for 24 hours and all they do is de activate most services running in the back ground!  THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO!
IDENTITY THEFT – People love the feeling of Breeze and HBL internet banking!  With devices like the Galaxy s5 & Iphone 5s where you have biometric security features people are now realizing that they have severe reconciliation issues with their bank statements and various other details!   Many mobile services that you download for free ask you to upgrade via downloading other software’s or sharing the programs. As you give permissions to these web based apps you allow them the rights to cross share your information to many companies and people who monitor consumer behavior! (How do you think Facebook makes it money?)  it is strongly advised that you do not install apps without reading the installation / setup features)
PERSONAL SECURITY – If you find yourself being stalked by someone you do not want to know where you are (like a wife) then please remove geo tagging and remove and disable features like checking in via four square everywhere you go to the loo! 
It is very easy to find out where anyone is these days and map a pattern of movements if one watches someone’s social media activity over 15 days!   So if you do not want your wife to know about your “special frand” or you are avoiding the bank because you missed your last 7 car payments my advice to you is to stop having your picture taken at a fancy restaurant or stop taking selfies with people whom you want to be like as well!
HIGH BILLING & COSTS – Ok so you all went Yay! when 3 Jee was launched!  But you never bothered to read the small print in the advertising!  Everyone who had a post-paid connection automatically suffered constipation, heart murmuring and high blood pressure the minute they got their first bill!  3 JEE is expensive!  How do you think the Telco’s make their money?  You need to see your data plan and once again set all your active applications to limit your data transfer.  I for one blasted through over 10 GB of downloads in a few hours myself!  When I got my bill and after the Panadol and Eno Fruit Salts and Esphagol realized that it was my fault for not reading the small print!

I hope these few issues I highlighted will help you to inwardly digest 3 JEE services! Acha Jee, Ok Jee, Haan Jee!

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