Tuesday, May 13, 2014


Social Media these days is filled with horror stories about how (Karachiites mostly) get held up at gun point, have their cellphones, wallets stolen etc.  I myself have forcibly had to donate my various belongings to the likes of these wretched Na Maloom Afraad cretins on more than 5 occasions in the past four months alone.  Sadly that is the joy of being a resident of Karachi!
Being involved in the Tech import business I however have a silver lining in these dark thunderous clouds with the benefit of being able to pop open any brand new phone of my choice within a few hours and being connected again!  The worst thing about losing your mobile device is the fact that when you get a replacement it is a very emotionally and painful time consuming experience where you are forced to sit and sync all the features, software’s & applications back online again!  If you have online banking services then guess what add another few hours of misery to your life!
When any new device is launched and we import it I always get a freebie to play with the day it is launched (sometimes before) I usually hammer all sorts of abuse upon it to see how resilient the end product is so that I can deal with the problems I will face from my consumers.  Imagine if all 500 of the handsets I imported were returned as what the market calls “Aaloo’s. When the Samsung Galaxy S5 was launched I got one (obviously) being someone who was loyal to apple after divorcing my first wife (blackberry) I spent a few nights with the sexy sleek curves that I saw.  I loved it and here are my reasons why…
The Samsung Galaxy S5 is a wonderful phone with ….  (blah blah blah… standard review stuff) BUT it is the perfect mobile device for all Karachiites!  The handset is a dangerous weapon against a snatcher if bundled with the Samsung Gear Fit because if it is stolen or the watch is ripped off your hand here’s what happens…
  1. The device locks & starts taking geo tagged images from both (front and back cameras) of the location and continues to do so sporadically for 5 minutes.
  2. Then as it is taking the geo tagged pictures it will start broadcasting the images by simultaneously uploading the all the images in a compressed format to all your virtual drives, social media applications and send out repeated Text & email bursts to 50 of your close friends and relatives that you are in the process of being robbed and you can choose the message you so desire. 
  3. If you rip off the watch after a certain distance the phone will do the same as mentioned above and a loud alarm will go off on the watch and phone!
  4. If stolen and you have the watch you can lock the phone (even hard reset it) and turn on a loudspeaker on the device to say – “This phone has been stolen”
  5. The only way to disable your device lock protocols is if you use a four step protection method which includes a biometric, voice, retina and then a password. After 10 attempts it hard resets its self and destroys the setup files and makes the phones useless thus protecting all your data!
  6. Now an additional feature is if you have a heart attack – the phone will again do what I have mentioned in step two and get you medical help. (we could not test this because I could not come across anyone willing to have a heart attack on demand)
The Samsung Galaxy is your average smart phone that dumb yuppies like to buy!  However if one looks into the salient features of the phone that I have mentioned above then this device really is a game changer for Karachiites! 

If you need to contact me or wish to befriend me then please... 
To work with me connect with me on Linked In -
or add me on facebook -

Disclaimer! - The opinions I post are my own and I do not intend to hurt or offend you!  If you cannot allow me my freedom of thought then you have the right to voice an opinion and navigate away on the web.  If you follow my blog I thank you as it’s quite ridiculously entertaining...that is if you like what & how I write!

No comments:

Post a Comment