Wednesday, November 27, 2013



I am the luckiest guy in the world!  Why? Because no matter what you say I have seen so many governments come and go that I could write an Iliad on the follies of governments big and small long and temporary you name it my generation has seen it!  Now elections are a time when the best talent pops up…  Come on you do agree with me don’t you?  Because those who thought that you were beneath them now make an extra effort to try to disqualify the “schmuck” value that they created for themselves by their own doings when they were in power!

Now when the begging bowls are out and the politicians are ready to give you their soul for a seat on the managing committee of their little Pakistan it is the best time to negotiate and see what dramatics one goes through. Permanent citizenships will be awarded to those who have temporary residences in the small communities and you will realize that behind all the drama and attention created through supposed philanthropy it’s just business at the end of the day.

If charity begins in the home then that should mean you need to stop paying heed to all the natak and drama about what people are posting on facebook and twitter.  Social media is bascally a place where according to PTA guidelines one has the ability to freely post their opinions and comments and ask valid questions to gain knowledge and a person has the rights to freely follow or endorse another point of view.  Can you imagine it’s like the time the world laughed at IK when he got a twitter account but then when he started asking questions people took notice of him and that too the educated lot with the leased 6 million dollar cars.  In short its not a charity rather a langar for pirates!

Politics has and always will be dirty and the more you get closer to an election you need professional people that will be your social body guards like every politician has to defend you against ridiculous accusations that your dhobis friend’s aunty ran over the doodh wala in the community parking lot so you are a horrible person.  Furthermore I find that those politicians who constantly flex their muscle that rests between their ears and their war cry is “law suit” or usually banning someone from this silly big boys club are those who  usually are the type that are desperate to get a seat in any committee and will settle for one that has to do with flushing toilets because it will make them feel competent for areas where one might feel the male gender might lack!

In this Umar Shareef production of elections the drama rises to a point where sitting in the theatre becomes stiflingly impossible because the play usually has no plot that makes any sense but like all elections its only about who will get a bigger seat  on the royal throne of life.  Frankly at every intermission in an Umar Shareef show that I have been to (they are really fun and I am an angutha chaap) in the middle during the campaign dramatics stop and vicious humiliation of people with different perspectives begin.  By the time the curtain call has come all one sees on the center stage is an aftermath of stupidity.  Oh yes after each on of Umer Bhai’s show we have devoured very spicy Pakoras, Samosa’s and terribly over sweet doodh patti!

Anyways what to do, you know all of this and it’s related to the country but can you imagine that all this nonsense is also going on at that Karachi Gymkhana where the population consists of chaddi friends who are ready to tear each other apart for genuine questions asked on facebook?   Who cares right now I am a temporary problem stuck in a permanent annual drama and I can’t wait until the curtain drops on election day and the dramatics stop.  However, I will not order anything from the kitchen because the way its management has been done in the past year I am very scared to get baasi pakoras!

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