Wednesday, September 15, 2010


As I wake up I am terrified by the odds that I have to face… The fear of facing the world whilst being unemployed is what I don as an undergarment… I wash the shaving foam with tears that don’t seem to stop flowing from the misery that I am trapped in this rat race where religion prevents me from cocking my nine and ending it all to face the essence of the harsh reality that society will not let me live. My misery is what entertains the media – tears are what they sell yet the relief that I want is not near… My mother has over medicated me with overdoses of the wrong kind of medicine that is futile in fighting my diseases. I am handcuffed by fate to the obvious reality that no matter how far I run I will never be able to hide from the fact that I would be be better off resting six feet under…

I am stuck in a world where what is socially acceptable is morally and ethically wrong. I am surrounded by the false values that have been instilled into me from Karachi to Waziristan and I have no claim upon any identity that is thrown before you. Shifting from the insanity to my mind I sit at a desk in a massive hall of pain wondering when the suffering will end. I am the happiness in your grief and I am the suffering of you insanity. Bound by the straight jacket of this constitution I am tolerant to what I have to witness and blindfolded by the scales of uneven justice.

I am about to bring death to this world and I am stuck at the cross road of life wondering if I should strangle my newborn with the umbilical cord before me so that I don’t have to face the questions some time later about why life is not fair. The maggots of society have eaten away at my soul and the flies of humanity just want to feel good about what charity is declared in the paper that I hide my naked body with. Yet I am forced to eat their sins of yesterday praying that one day someone will listen to my wretched screams.

Society will watch me burn and religion will crucify my soul yet as I close my eyes every time I blink I cannot see Gabriel, Peter or Lucifer as there is a huge fight going on as to who will bear the cost of my existence on earth. I started my journey towards death the day I opened my eyes not knowing that as a citizen of the human race I would have to constantly fight a battle for the right to live… I have the ability to give life yet I have the agony in suffering the labor pains from the decisions that are made for me. I am not lost I am found but to whom and when and where as I am stuck in the limbo of praying that karo kari will occur as my punishment is that of being a Pakistani flood victims wife…

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