Saturday, September 11, 2010


I would like to confess something today! I cheat on my wife with a mistress… This mistress is cruel mean and more manipulative than anyone else’s mistress. Why because the minute I have my Ben franklins’ coming in I have already decided that a significant amount MUST be dedicated to her undying demand for change. My mistress spanks my wallet leaves me in constant fear as she evolves with time constantly so I have to use my grey matter in trying to figure her out constantly and she gives me the utmost satisfaction in the form of the famous quote “I AM INVINCIBLE” as I show her off to my friends and the best thing is my wife loves this kinky three way relationship because in our insane threesome of life my mistress has managed to eat her jealousy away.

Oh what a high as we sit in a restaurant in a plastic society consumed with false values and do small talk people love to show off their wares and think that the toys they posses are an extension of their existence… But now as my or rather I would like to say my wife’s and my mistress or our mistress enters the scene my friends eyes go gaga with lust and the gravity of what has hit them is in the form of a high that is unimaginable… YES I OR WE ARE INVINCIBLE… this sordid love affair of a different kind is my kinky fetish with technology and not another human being so stop getting so excited… but wait keep your emotions intact as it’s the joy of my life… and yes sadly too very expensive because what ever I get I also have to get one for my wife who unfortunately happens to be one of the most technically competent people today… (that’s where my tears come on)

I was always scared to shake the foundations of my mulberry bush as my BBM would die and I always believed on any travel that once you go MAC you can never go back… my curved journey javelined through the 4gb phase to a world that now accepts a 32 GB torch as a solution for my business needs and sadly rather than becoming smaller the IPOD of life which revolutionized mobile multimedia became very had to fit in my pocket so I wonder how women can hide this pad that connects them to a very entertaining life..

I visited a friend who did not know about my fetish with technology and as we chatted he surfed through the media business and exceptional functions of with such speed that it blew my doors off. Ok so I claim to be the it thing and had always said that SAM had SUNG its last song with the useless D880 and the best thing is that I’m a investor in a lucrative mobile import business.. Also to add to my renditions I boast that my team and me have done work for RIM – how did this new Samsung Wave wipe me out and go un noticed. I felt hurt because in my own ignorance my mistress cheated me… I’ll tell you why!

In Pakistan when we go to a mobile outlet we ask for a phone that MUST be a nokia and specially one that a person who is cooler than us which we must have. Sony erricson and Samsung are the stepchildren we get if it’s a real deal… if you’re from the wanna beee world of business then you’re well aware of the curveballs, javelins and torches tahtw ill light up your way from Rim also im sure you must have ridden many a storm which claimed to make you as invincible as Zues but left you with a short circuit in your brain trying to figure out an amalgamation of two worlds.

Samsungs Wave (8500) was released in April 2010 and now im on 9-11 literally so how did we not realize the power of this sleek sexy and very sassy phone / business / multimedia device. In the hands of those who understand that Nokia failed with maemo and is now crying mommy and that the torch will freeze and your lights will go out then I personally consider this mobile phone to be a weapon… forget the techy jargon that people give you endlessly to prove any point that the product is good – just use it and let it abuse you back… This phone in the hands of any techy Trojan soldier is a formidable weapon as its recording capabilities are more powerful than the best definition I have found on a PD 170. The clarity in sound recording is studio quality and its own email functions are brilliant…

The best thing is that you don’t get a cardiac arrest as you usually do when your maemo has a brain fart running multiple processes and your berrys fall off the trees when you lose your mail due to a remote server error. This device not phone is the silent underdog that after its release went unnoticed as we thought literally Samsung could never produce a device as good as this. Watch movies take pictures of your wife share them with the world and run all your business of this easy to digest comprehend device… if you’re a lady then throw away your pads which will have you end up in a state of technical menopause as this device will tell you when you need to get a manicure and what your significant other is up to via remote monitoring.

If you’re a man then go ahead and understand that you can leave all the fruits that rim has come up with as now you really are extremely well endowed all over… I belong to a world where technology is supposed to simplify life and some how it has managed to enslave us with its upgrades errors and constant rectifications of what jobs could not do right the first time around…

Today I can confidently thank my buddy Hasan who in his geeky mac environment showed me an avenue to truly live in a free world of technology or as they RIDE THE WAVE OF LIFE… come get your shorts on throw away your old devices and don’t get your undies in a twist – grab this sassy surfboard and ride a Samsung Wave…

Now that you’re almost convinced – here is the best thing about this device… berrys are berry berry expensive - once you go mac you don’t go back but your bank balance goes bad… and if you’re a maemo buyer then after your done figuring it out you will be screaming mommy – this wave is extremely affordable and it usually comes with all the toys you would need. Before you buy it make sure your wife is not in any way technically competent or has a flair for the digital art world as you will need to order two – but what the hell two waves for the price of one berry hanging off a tree – it definitely is something to think about…

In case you were wondering - I wrote this article posted it and have distributed it to over 300,000 people whilst driving to a hill station in Pakistan on an edge connection – sticks and stones may break my bones but a edge is better than gprs… do the math!

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