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Saturday, August 21, 2010

THE INVESTMENT IN CONSUMER BANKIING

 "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"  - Words carved out on the statue of liberty in “JEW ESSAY” (USA pronounced by a Latino)  “I have a dream” (Matin Luther King) and the best one Patience is a virtue…  Today is the best day after independence because I believe that the following two quotes are true “patience is a virtue” and that ”the truth shall set you free.”

My wife and I were the victim of dafa no 420 / 496 and 406 as stated in the Pakistan penal code by our not so important banker.  There is a saying _ WRITTEN BY ME – today you can only trust your parents your banker doctor and lawyer.  My wife and I did trust our banker who was from a bank with a very high standard and if one looks at its Qatari mandate it was chartered to follow the policies of the state bank. 

This weasel went on to defraud us of our savings and simply vanish.  Mind you this is after the chap invited us to his wedding and simply vanished after that.  So now the standard is to to have a green and blue swirly logo which depicts action in a comic book and make like Houdini and wa’la vanish… All the transactions were done in the four walls of the branches where this weasel worked and not in a parking lot late at night under a street light.
Being physically handicapped and angry with the world anyways I raised a ruckus.  The head office which was in Karachi opposite the habib bank did not even show me the shaan of the issue rather I got a big “shit happens when you party naked attitude” (please remember this quote as I will elaborate on it later) after no success I even launched a website namely www.bohatbaragandu.com (figure out what that means…. But still no success for the past few months I have being playing email tennis with various player in this bank.

This article is not about how I got rogered by a system set to protect me, rather it is about my understanding of how the system of consumer banking works Aaha!  Now as I quoted patience is a virtue…  Well that is so true!  Also as we are rocking with quotes then the most famous one the enemy of my enemy is my friend also lives up to its name….   Last night I came across a few people and having the ability to moan and groan very well we all did our iftar like good little muslims and then sat down after loosening our belts to talk about various achievements and drawbacks in life.  It’s absolutely amazing how one tries to wash their sins out or clear a conscience in Ramadan.  After all we must go to heaven…  Even though we partied like mad in Bangkok and various sin cities of the middle east.

Ok well the crux of the issue is how to invest in a career in consumer banking.  First you have to have the ability to lie.  Second you have to buy first degree knock off clothing and look great so the world trusts you as they will think you have money yourself.  The ability to pledge allegiance to an entire choron ki baraat would get you the position of a BOM and if you have the ability to find a contact that will supply blended concoctions then guess what you are an ABM.

In this university of consumer banking the fun begins when you are in the supposed three letter abbreviated position because silly… that is where the trainings come in… also no longer do you have the fear of being terminated as a contractual employee.  You have no benefits like health insurance or pension and the only golden hand shake you get will be on your own throne at home but never the less you are a permanent schmuck now.  Woohoo!  As I said the trainings (which are a cheap and useless replacement for pension etc etc) have dominated the market.  Now that you are a little not yet so big schmuck working in an establishment that is chartered to abide by the state bank laws you have to follow a standard and follow extra ordinary banking procedure on your knees whilst clutching the hips of the bigger schmucks hoping to rise one day your self – without a bad taste in your mouth…

The evil that men do is also a famous quote but to invest in a higher position in consumer banking you have to understand that  the opinionated not so bright schmuck in the head office is someone who has no clue as to what the actual banking world does because all he or she does is sit and plagiarize policies of google when not on facebook – chatting with a trainer in a training bra.  In the social norms the cult following of peeri mureedi in serfdom applies here as we all like to do it but we don’t like to talk about it…  Hushhhhh that would be plain rude…
I marvel at the abilities of creative subjects because it takes a thief to catch a thief.  After a complete useless training program has been chartered the bank adopts it as a standard and by management who is the shaan that one must fear is now a policy that must be implemented.  Now once on the way to Thailand (the land of little boys and girls for sale) our bankers go off to invest in practical training – to be bigger schmucks.  There are also those who are armed with mobile phones that have video recording capabilities to beat a pd170 there are those who go with them. Now whether we like it or not after the lectures of being in a five star hotel are done the practical’s start.

Expensive gifts in glass bottles and watches, ties even mobile phones that these schmucks cannot afford are given to those they must appease.  Now those that are new in the ranks are advised by the older schmucks (you can tell them by the lines under their eyes from ducking from their own conscience and the enormous bellies they waddle around with) to invest in the flesh trade to appease their bosses and ensure that the relaxing massages by transsexuals keep cuming so that these guys are the favored ones.

Just as the God father used to do in his meetings there is a huge setting somewhere back home where awards will be passed out to the town – not in a hall with professional settings rather to those who have invested in their futures.  Ok so this is the investment one makes.  Did anyone think what damage a jealous person can do with a mobile phone that has a camera.  Now to be posted on the internet would bring down a lot of bankers and bankrupt not only them rather the whole standard of banking which they represent as stated in their own charters.

I have seen a couple of very interesting videos and a whole archive of pictures which are amazing at what investment the lower ranks who were un noticed and not thought of as a threat have.  I marvel at how when I was a guest of the federal government in Karachi I met a man who was also a guest.  The weird thing was it was an education not incarceration!   Whilst I was a prisoner he was a guest and a teacher.  He taught me one thing NEVER FORGIVE & NEVER FORGET!  Today I evolved but the world won’t let me forgive and society will never let me forget!
It’s the standards that are chartered by clueless schmucks which will always bring us down.

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