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Saturday, August 21, 2010

DEGREE TAU DEGREE HAI – MAGAR CV TO DEKHO!

Give a Pakistani a fish and you will feed him for a week! Give an Italian a fish and you will send a death message from the God father! Give a Bangladeshi a fish and he will breed so many that a new fish farming industry will arise. Now teach a Pakistani to fish and he will take off with your motorboat, teach an Italian to fish and he will run Chicago and teach a Bangladeshi to fish and he will always violate Pakistani fishing waters… Do the same for an Indian and either ways they get the RAW deal of being incarcerated…

Now let’s take this thingy a little further… Give the Bangladeshis technology and they will establish an outsourcing industry for the west… Do the same for the Italians and they will design the best looking fishing boat… Do it for the Indians and they will make it cheaper and use Hanuman as a logo on the bow… Give a Pakistani a mobile phone, a keyboard and a mouse – and you have all the politicians in their chuddies on you tube!

As of late I am witness to trash being thrown around all over the internet… People are posting all kinds of nasties about every politician they can lay their hands on… If one looks at the statistics on the internet then most of the cyber porn that originates out of Pakistan comes from corporate offices… Yes whilst doing research every corporate citizen is guilty of going to various kinky illicit websites and / or having an online buddy named Nadya who is usually Nadir that is a 13 year old closet homosexual and getting his rocks off and the poor guy does not realize that so called Nadya say the name will become NAAA DIYA!

The latest escapade of mails stating what corruption one has done what crimes one has quashed due to some power is the latest social topic of discussion. One that really caught my eye was the bashing of the Higher Education Commission and the phone calls that attacked the various stake holders to guarantee that even MBA’s bought 30 minutes before an epaper bachelors is credible… Some even went on to scream that a degree is a degree to the press and there is no reason to be disqualified from the post that should be given to an educated person… Ok let’s just put the screams and the moans aside as we all know that companies leave alone the federal govt NEVER verifies a degree as there is a level of integrity that has to maintained and one of the key factors should be trust…

Let’s focus on the resume’s or CV’s (before or after the degrees god only knows) The average resume to be a good politician is the ability to get elected and have a USP for your self – several female MNA’s have a habit of being brutally noisy even though they do not believe in the cause – many male MNAS also like to be equally noisy in the assembly by humiliating women.. The other thing that you must have on your resume to be a good politician is to believe your own lies or be a stooge for someone who has no conscience… To add to the things that one needs to be in an elected government is the ability to deny every sense of responsibility. Also friends in high places within the business community are a good tool to help you win…

To get a position in the elected government you need to have some kinky fetish – having a few drinks and dancing in a saree helps… to get a federal ministers position it is a necessity to be able to have tons of land (hopefully not under water) that you have inherited or loads of moolah from selling various spices or powders if not lives…

Want to go higher then the CV must have your ability to be a chameleon and a hyena – you need to be able to be swift in changing colors from lota to a cycle and the ability to attack your own only in a pack. Acha now if you want the head honchos seat in the national assembly then go ahead (numero uno) then a term in any thana will not do for driving with contraband liquids or women – a murder charge or two is a MUST!

Now I realize why some of my favorite politicians like Imran Khan, Azhar Jadoon, are not really politicians… I call them social workers… Much to my dismay (as he has had all the above) Mian Shahbaz Sharif is also on this list… Why because these people have actively done things hands on. I have witnessed the lesser Sharif picking garbage out of flooded gutters in Lahore and showing up on a CD 70 without any goons to a flood affected area and shocking the pants off everyone… I wonder who ran away on a CD 50 and declared it as their only asset at the UK embassy… people don’t Know that Azhar Jadoon tried desperately to get arrested but failed miserably as he told the people from his halka to STOP the Abbotabad Riots… (funny thing is this man actually has a real degree in medicine and politics was thrown upon him) Little do people know that the great khan (womanizer as we all say) went through some trouble in Great Britain but guess what the woman who he dumped was the first one in line to stand with a placard (mind you she is a mem saab – if we were still under british rule) to free him… Does anyone know why Salahuddin Abbassi is a man who gets several tickets and is known as a king maker – yet he never took the throne because he already has one… he is the Nawab of Bhawalpur… all these chaps would be useless in government and I urge you to strongly NOT support them as they have the credible degrees BUT they just don’t have the right resumes for the job…

It’s very sad huh – I guess we all do go on cv’s so why are degrees so important! We should have an election song that goes
degree tau degree hai magar cv tau dekho
hara aur safaid ko choro – laal aur hara to dekho
is kursi main kiya zameer hain yeh to na dekho
choro gay to rose petal key roll kharid lo…

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